Chapter9
Wilson
I should be surprised, but the only feeling sinking in was that I deserved this. I completely deserve
this and worse.
My mother looked at me in disdain and my Father’s eyes were on his wife, his lips pressed in a thin line in a disappointed way. He doesn’t even want to look at me.
My parents who once looked at me with adoration and pride, were now just giving me disgusted stares. I was always a proud man to have such parents and the fact that I was an excellent son to
them.
Never sneaked around, never went to parties or fooled around with girls. Never lost my focus and learnt to be a loving gentleman my woman would like. And for what? To throw it all away, for a moment of pleasure that wasn’t even pleasurable.
I swallowed the thorns of guilt and tried to find my voice.
“Mom,” I stepped closer but she buckled up to my Father and cried in his arms.
“Don’t come near me, you can’t be my son. You can’t,” she cries helplessly.
“Denver, my son would never do that right. He would never,” she sobs hysterically as my dad consoles her by hugging h6.93%
Chapter8
I drove like a maniac, and even lost control of the wheel but reached home safely. Her calls were constantly irritating me, I threw my cell phone against the wall and ran straight to the shower, scrubbing, crying and bleeding.
I woke up with a sudden jolt, my body trembled and I was sweating like the sun was shining just
upon me.
I rubbed my stinging eyes harshly and kicked the coffee table in agony. Leo is gone. She is not here. It’s been a week, since that night.
A week of rotting in guilt, a week of agony and misery. The worst week of my life.
I checked the time ran to the bathroom to clean up and went straight to my friend’s office, who is also an Attorney. Haunting, cursed words of my wife rang in my head, and my desperation was turning into determination and anger, towards myself for bringing this upon family.
But I’ll be damned if I let my family, my wife and my daughter leave me.
“Do you hear yourself, Will, you sound like a lunatic. I can’t fucking believe it. You cheated on that woman, my God.” He exclaimed running a hand down his face in exasperation and disbelief. I hung my head blinking my eyes hard. I needed to stay awake, I needed to bring my family back.
“I am not here to hear the obvious Jerome. You promised if I ever need you’ll help.” I replied tightly. I knew I deserved that shit but I was losing it with every passing second.
He looked away and exhaled deeply before turning his back to me.
“I’ll help, but don’t expect any sympathy from my side. What you did to Leona is unforgivable and I support her decision for divorce, but as promised I’ll help.” He says.
“I don’t want to give you any explanations. I want my daughter and wife back.” I answered back.
“Be thankful she hasn’t sued you for adultery and custody.” He hisses and I slam my hand on the table, he glares at me right back as I fume in anger.
What’s happening to you, Will? You were never the one to get furious about such things. Shaking my head I stormed out of his office and made my way to my car to drive back home Walking in, I glanced around the living room I trashed last night.
The hollow silence and the unorganised stuff mocked me, calling me out for my sins. I glanced around once again, wishing it was a nightmare and this wasn’t happening. But the reality of my actions announced it better.
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I made my way to the kitchen for a glass of water and stared at the fruit basket. Both my girls love fruits, Leona would cut them down into chunks and make a fruit salad almost every day. I dropped the glass in the sink, unable to drink the water.
My chest was again filling up with the void, an abrupt discomfort building with the constant reminder that they were gone, I had pushed them away.
The sole purpose of life, my happiness, wasn’t here and it made me self murderous that I was the one who caused that.
There were a lot of things you wished you hadn’t seen in your life, the cruellest of all, was your breaking down in tears caused by your betraying actions.
Your infidelity, your negligence, by taking her for granted, jeopardising your love and marriage.
I caressed our family photo on the wall above the fireplace, silent tears streaming down my face. We looked so happy and healthy.
Every time we have a kid, Will, we would replace the picture with another one we take.
wife
My wife’s sweet voice rings in my ear. I closed my eyes imaging her, but the only vision that appeared was her bloodshot eyes and her dishevelled state. My eyes shot open as I struggled to stop the early cries that would leave my mouth.
Her agony was twisting the arrows of guilt deeper into my heart and conscience. Her cries haunted my dreams and her hatred darkened my life.
I know the severity of my deeds, I know what I let happen is unforgivable but I simply can’t let her go. I can’t give up, fighting for her love and forgiveness, fighting for my daughter is the only way to make this right.
I might have been too lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the door screech open because when I turned around my parents were standing right in front of me. My mother’s eyes were swollen and fresh tears brimmed her beautiful blue eyes.
“Mom,” I choked out but the sympathy soon changed into anger and a loud and clear smack was etched onto my face, the impact of it stocking up on my remorse.
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er tight. Every whimper of hers squeezed my heart and smashed it to pieces, I could only imagine the pain I’d thundered down on my wife.
I wonder how she is doing and Wilona, did she tell our daughter what had I done? Would she hate her Father now?
When my mother started coughing unstoppable I ran to the kitchen and brought a water bottle and a glass. My dad snatched it from my hand and helped her drink it.
“Calm down Rosea, you have to sit down and talk like adults,” my father said rubbing her back. She wiped her tears, nodding her head. He didn’t say we, meaning he wouldn’t talk to me, my Father was a man of few words we are close of course but he always chooses his words wisely.
We sat down and had a lingering silence coating the atmosphere. I could feel the disappointment radiating off them. You’re not the only ones Dad and Mom.
“I don’t even know what to say, Wilson.” My mother sniffled then hung her head, wiping her face and eyes. “I can’t seem to find the right words.” She lets out, her lips quivering.
The sight of her tears and shame was killing me, to imagine I brought this sorrow upon my parents whom I love so much is torture. I was unable to maintain eye contact as I glanced down, the
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humiliation I’d brought upon myself was too heavy.
I was constantly having the remorse scratching my heart, it was stinging, and burning and I had no one to blame but myself.
“Nothing I say is ever going to be enough Mom. All I know is that I’ve messed up terribly, that too for,” I exclaimed tears blurring my eyes.
“For a moment,” I couldn’t complete the sentence. It was too humiliating to talk about it to my
parents.
“I was so proud raising a son like you,” it was my Father who spoke this time. He didn’t look at me his eyes staring into a distance, on the photos on our wall, I trembled at his words.
“I have no idea if I can look at you with the same pride ever again,” he hesitated, the words heavy on his tongue, he said them with so much difficulty and conclusion. At that moment I realised I just didn’t lose my wife and daughter, my chance at an amazing life. But also the respect of my friends
and family. My people.
People who were there for me all my life, who looked up to me with respect and pride. Who am I fooling? I would never be able to look in the mirror and feel the same way about myself ever again. This disgust that I’ve brought upon my life was going to be there, always like rotten garbage.
“You’ve lost your family Wilson, what’re you going to do?” My mother whispered, that snapped me
out of self–pity.
“I haven’t lost them, I would not. I know what I did is wrong but I’ll make sure Leona comes back to me.” I fretted in denial.
I wouldn’t let her go.
My mother looked at me with wide pitiful eyes at my outburst, I looked away. “Will, is Leona divorcing you?” Did she tell you she would?” She asks frantically, I avoid looking at her. It’s just a reaction to my actions, she wouldn’t divorce me. She loves me, we have a daughter.
“Wilson, I am asking something to you,” she yells shaking me.
“She didn’t tell me any such thing,” she mumbles, eyes filled with sorrow.
“Did you talk to her mom, did you talk to Leona?” I moved closer clutching her hands, sh out of my hold hastily.
‘d them
“You don’t deserve to know about her,” she snaps, her gaze changing to fury. I visibly flinched because my mother wasn’t a person who gets angry easily. She was our sweet Angel we ran to when Dad got mad.
Chapter
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“I can’t let her go, Mom, I believe we can work it out,” I muttered meekly, contemplating my own words. She looked at me like I was speaking an ancient language like I was delusional.
“Work out? Wilson. You goddamn cheated on that her do you think that’s just a small mistake you could say sorry for and move on?” She fumes, standing up and pacing around she starts looking up at the ceiling wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop. Every action of hers was digging a hole of hollow deeper into my chest.
“I know,” I uttered.
“Not once did the thought of your daughter cloud your mind, Wilson?” She asks, her voice a mixture of vulnerability and disgust. I dipped my head down, I had no answer to that, or maybe my mother or any sane person would have burned ears after hearing such a wounding truth.
“How did you guys- I trailed off feeling the words alone burning my vocals.
“How do we know?” She completed it for me. I couldn’t even nod. “Your sister told us.” She says.
Just then on cue the front door open twice today and my sister walked inside, her eyes like everybody else filled with disgust and rage. I was speechless for the moment being.
“She doesn’t want to see you, that’s why I had to come here Wilson,” saying, Andrea gestured to the stranger male beside her who extended an envelope towards me.
“Wilson McConnell you’ve been served.”
