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I closed the distance between us, my feet carrying me to her side. She tilted her head, her eyes
locking onto mine as she gazed up at me. One of the many things I adored about her was her height
she was tall, reaching just below my nose.
–
It allowed me to look directly into her eyes, drowning in their depths. I cherished this unique aspect of her, another facet that made her irresistibly beautiful to me. Her upward glance sparkled with warmth, and I felt my heart swell. Standing this close, I breathed in the subtle scent of her perfume, mixing with the sweet aroma of her skin.
I leaned down, my lips brushing a soft, brief kiss against her temple, I knew she wasn’t probably ready for pecks. The gentle touch sent a shiver. It felt new, hollow, fragile, and precious at the same
time.
“Ready?” I asked. She nodded, and I held the door open for her. Once she was settled, I closed it. Buying this car locally had been a practical decision; vehicles were surprisingly affordable here
We drove to a nearby restaurant, and to my relief, Leona seemed easy and comfortable, a welcome change from the tension of the past few months. Our conversation flowed effortlessly, touching on lighthearted topics, carefully avoiding the heavier issues we’d eventually need to address. She also suggested we take a stroll through the streets and indulge in dessert from an ice cream parlor. And that’s exactly what we did.
After checking into our hotel, I sensed Leona’s unease and nervousness as we entered our room so I
turned to her immediately.
“Leo, relax,” I spoke gently. “We aren’t doing anything. If you want, I can sleep on the couch. The sole purpose of us being here is for you to feel comfortable around me again. I promise to respect your boundaries this time.” I assured her. She sighed, her tension easing, and stepped closer.
“I’m not afraid, I just…” Her voice trailed off, and she hung her head. Then, with a forced brightness, she shook her head forcing a smile. I hated seeing her pretend for my sake, hated that she felt compelled to try again for reasons other than genuine desires to be with me.
“I’ll go change,” she murmured softly, as she slipped away to the bathroom, the quiet click of the door echoing through the room.
The sound of running water and the faint rustle of clothes being shed and rearranged followed.
I released a deep sigh and collapsed onto the couch, shedding my jacket as I settled in. The soft cushions enveloped me, and I let my head fall back, feeling the weight of my exhaustion. The gentle give of the leather creaked softly beneath me.
My mind began to swirl with doubts, each one a razor–sharp fragment that sliced through my already fragile heart. Was I pushing her too far, testing the frayed threads of our relationship? Did she truly no longer love me? The anticipation of her answer hung like a guillotine, poised to sever
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what remained of my hope. My chest tightened, as if the weight of my guilt wasn’t already enough to crush me. The crack in my heart spread wider, threatening to shatter into a million pieces.
I bit back my tears, choking down the anguish that threatened to consume me. For a year now, Leona’s gaze had been devoid of the love we once shared.
Instead, her eyes held sympathy, support, and care – all wrapped in polite indifference. The absence of that familiar spark, the one that once burned bright with passion and adoration, was a constant reminder of what we’d lost. Her kindness now felt like a distant echo of our past, a haunting contrast to the all–consuming love that once radiated from her very being.
Love that precious, delicate treasure I’d taken for granted, disrespected, and tarnished with my selfish desires. Love that I’d forgotten in my blind pursuit of pleasure, love that I’d allowed my guilt to suffocate. The weight of my regret crushed me, as I recalled the countless moments I’d neglected Leona’s heart, ignoring the subtle whispers of her needs, and silencing her love with my thoughtless actions.
As the bathroom door swung open, I straightened myself for the moment of truth. It was now or never. Exhaustion had drained my reserves, leaving me running on fumes. All I wanted was to surrender to the allure of slumber, to be enveloped in a cocoon of blankets and sleep indefinitely, until I awakened to a refreshed life, free from the suffocating grip of my conscience. Would that day ever dawn, or was I forever doomed to wrestle with the demons of my mistakes?
Leona emerged, her freshly washed skin glowing softly in the dim light, her eyes locked onto mine with an unreadable expression.
She walked over, her footsteps quiet on the carpet, and settled beside me on the couch, her body language radiating a mix of fatigue and vulnerability. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she spoke, her
voice laced with remorse.
“I–I am so sorry, Wilson.” Her head dropped, her gaze falling to her lap as if she were the one who
had wronged me, not the other way around. The weight of her apology settled heavily on my conscience. “You must hate me,” she muttered, her words barely audible, each one a razor–sharp slice to my already battered heart.
I instinctively reached out, compelled to comfort her, but my hand hesitated mid–air, unsure if I had the right to offer solace after all I’d done, so I pulled it back.
“I don’t hate you Leo,” I uttered, my voice cracking with emotion. “I could never hate you. You’re trying, and that’s all I can ask for. I respect it, appreciate it.” My gaze locked onto hers, searching for understanding. “After everything I’ve put you through, I should be grateful you’re still here.” My words hung in the air, thick with regret.
“If you don’t want to continue our conversations this weekend, it’s fi-” I started, but Leona’s words tumbled out in haste, intercepting mine.
“No, Wilson, please,” she said, her voice laced with urgency, her hand instinctively reaching for
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mine.
“I need to talk about this, about us. I need to know what’s going on, what’s going to happen.” Her eyes pleaded, searching for answers I still haven’t given her because her questions did rise because of my exhausted actions these past days, our conversations brought us close but also showed her parts I was trying to conceal.
My words died on my lips, and I felt my heart sink, unsure if I was ready to confront the uncertain
future we both faced.
“Leo, I want to tell you something,” I said, my voice laced with trepidation. “Something I didn’t dare share before, fearing it would drive you away for good.” I paused, my heart racing with
anxiety. Her gaze locked with mine, her eyes widening with anticipation.
I owed it to Leona to lay my cards on the table, to give her the confession and choice she deserved.
My heart pounded in my chest, but I held myself, knowing this was the only way to free us both from the lurking fears of uncertainty.
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