Leona
I never knew it was possible to be shivering, angry, and shaken at the same time. The tremors of shock still went through me like electric currents. I had to stop aside on my way back for a few minutes to get my head straight while driving. I was just glad it wasn’t dark yet, I hated driving at
night.
I could’ve never imagined Wilson was capable of doing thatx he had always been a calm, collected person. The more the day passes with being tied up in this relationship with him, the more I am finding reasons for a way out.
If he hadn’t cheated, and we simply had problems like miscommunication and misunderstandings, I would be far more hurt. Because it hurts when you’re in love right?
It doesn’t hurt anymore, not like the way it would when I would still be loving him. He had strangled the love I had for him, it had gasped and fought for air, eventually giving up at a point.
I snapped out of my head once I pulled up in the driveway of my parents, turning the car off I chose to sit there for a little while to gather my energy to act normal. My parents and Daughter already have enough on their plates, and I don’t want to add more. I stared at nature before me for a while,
the sun was setting behind the calm brighter clouds, and the birds were returning home.
With a deep exasperating sigh, I exited the car, the scent of Jasmine hitting me from the small garden. I unlocked the door and went straight to the bedroom to get change.
The silence of the house and only the clock ticking announced that no one was home. I sniffed the
tropical smell of lemongrass, it soothes me, reminding of my beautiful childhood filled with
laughter and craziness. Though, it was always weird to have it empty.
My dad would be at the restaurant my parents owned, as for Mom she would be returning soon
from Willy’s PT visit.
Picking the clothes reminded me, mine and her stuff was still at Wilson’s, except for the few
clothes we had in the suitcase I brought with me.
I glanced at the date displayed on the calendar, my heart twisted at the realisation that it’s only been around fifteen days since everything went downhill. Feels like it’s been a row of emotionally and physically draining months.
I had texted Andrea and she told me Wilson would normally drag it nearly to the twentieth day rule to respond. I slumped on the edge of the bed with a thud, trying to hold it together but failed miserably as tears gathered in my eyes at the same time my head begins aching.
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I buried my face in my palms, letting it rest for a few minutes. But I knew this wasn’t the time to breakdown, I had to cook up dinner, Willy only wants to eat food made by me, so the least I could do for my parents was cook for them as well.
I changed quickly, skipping the shower, considering the amount of tiredness I was feeling in my muscles. I made my way to the kitchen, and pulled out the ingredients, drawers and cabinets clinking, letting the rice soak and chicken to marinate. I shifted my attention to Mac and Cheese Willy’s been asking for, usually she liked it better made by her Father, but it wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t going to be around the same in her life.
I shut down any painfully distracting thoughts, and poured my heart into making the meal. I grabbed my mother’s newest square flat bbq pan, sprayed some oil and let the chicken roast on it, the rising savouring aroma making my mouth water.
Then I set the rice to cook before bringing the ingredients for the brownie. I made a quick trip to the store nearby for Ice Cream, to cheer up my daughter since she’s mostly off after visiting her Therapist.
Once the food was done, I started up cutting the veggies for the Salad with Rice and Chicken.
Meanwhile, I let the brownie batter sit so it could be hot while I put it in the oven, to eat with the Ice
cream later.
I heard the front door click open, foot steps and wheeling noise followed, my mom walked inside with Willy. Mom liked an open kitchen so the living room was just across where I was able to see
them.
“Mommy,” Willy smiles wide. I cleaned my hands with the paper towel before I was excitedly
ambling over to hug her. There was something about my daughter that comforted me every time I hugged her.
“How was the visit honey?” I asked, and that caused all her cheeriness to fade, dimming my
strength.
“It was fine.” She mumbled. I kissed her hair with a deep sigh.
“I made you brownies.” I said gently, her smile returns, vibrant and beautiful, her dimples were
just like her Father.
I used to swoon over that.
I dusted my mind and forced it to focus on the present rather than the past that had been done and
gone.
“Go to the bedroom Willy, I’ll come and help you change.” I told her she nodded enthusiastically. I
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am glad I made brownies then. My mother was seated on the sofa, rubbing her temples.
“Mom? I called out sitting beside her, she tilted her head up to me then slumped down on the sofa a little resting on the headrest.
“I am fine honey, just a little dehydrated you know it’s been a while since I’ve driven for a long route, don’t fret it.” She ensures me clarifying the situation and brushing off her trouble, with
motherly love shining in her eyes. I bit my lip and my heart clenched at the sudden thought, that my parents were aging.
She chattered nonstop about the new colouring kit that was launched, and the difficult puzzles she put together faster than my Father and enjoying her weekend with Sabrina, my niece.
She also told me the school her PT told about where physically disabled kids go, my heart broke at that, but I knew it was more than accepting you’ve failed miserably, Wilona had a future, a life ahead of her, and I would make sure it was just as bright and filled with happiness as any other
normal kid.
She snuggled up to me yawning after her chitter–chatter, and I caressed her soft curls, staring up at the ceiling with a hollowness in my chest.
Am I being too selfish? In a way Willy would always be at a distance from her Father now.
I swallowed the thickness in my throat, and kissed her temple.
“Mom?” She calls out sleepily, a little drooling on the side of her lips. “I miss dad.” She uttered making my eyes water and heart crumpled into a throbbing mess.
I need to arrange for her to spend the day with him soon, it wasn’t healthy, she was innocent, she shouldn’t be mashed between our fights and issues.
It wasn’t until she was so deep in her sleep that I slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen, making sure I didn’t make any noise while opening the cabinet and picking a glass for a drink. I wasn’t a drinker so one glass might put me to sleep, that had left my life these days.
I remembered the first time I tasted wine, it was our third date and Wilson brought it, he assured me bought something sweet so there would be more possibilities that I would like it. He was such an amazing guy and lover, even a better Father. What happened to that guy? Why?
I drank more than one, stopped at two, cried out the pain that was whirling and bottled up inside me, then collected both my mind and emotions to senses.
I made sure to brush my teeth, rinse my mouth and wash my face to remove any evidence because a curious, smart eight year old would catch your lie.
The next day when I returned from work, I was playing uno cards with Wilona who was frowning every now and then, because I kept winning.
“This is my turn to win.” She calls out dramatically. I laughed letting her win the rest of the rounds.
Before I could help my mother with dinner, I walked to the bedroom to keep my phone on charge, my eyes landed on Wilson’s strings of texts despite my warning. I gritted my teeth ignoring his incoming calls, wishing I could just block him but he was still Willy’s Father.
Dejectedly sighing, I grabbed the phone, reading, but all his texts basically said the same thing.
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Leo please reply,
Please pick up the calls Leo.
It’s important.
I can’t tell you about it in text.
It’s about Willy’s treatment.
The last one grabbed my attention.