It is hard that I can never have the chance to fall in love, get married, and have kids. Start a family that will only experience love and never allow my children to go through what I had to go through. But I knew that sometimes, my past makes it hard for me to make the right decision when it comes to starting a family,
So I guess, I was saving myself from another tragedy that was about to happen. But there was this other side to me, that was like what if I avoided the tragedy? Things would go normal…. right?
I finally got home from the blizzard that started during my appointment, and girl was 1 happy that I was home, safe and sound.
Loclong the doors, I ran upstairs and decided to take a hot steaming shower first before I decided to do anything
Stripping down to my birthday suit, I stepped into the already steaming hot water and began doing what you had to do. After I was done with them, I wiped the water away from my eyes and kept my hands around my neck as I stared at the black tiles in my bathroom.
I could feel the water beating against my neck, which was extremely soothing. Then suddenly, I could feel the tears falling out of my ducts. I knew why I was crying, and no it wasn’t about today at the hospital.
I was still in pain over what took place while I was with my old pack. I didn’t do anything. I was an innocent girl that just wanted the love and protection from her family but when I couldn’t get it, I put all of my hope and strength into the future. Hoping that when I find my mate, he would love me and give me what I yearned for. But it turned out to be false. I didn’t get IL All I got was rejection and hatred.
I’m not a wolf, I was born a human in a wolf family. I knew that this whole situation shouldn’t be a problem. There were many cases where some humans were borned into a wolf family taht held a lot of power. My family, they were the Beta of the pack. So I knew that this problem shouldn’t be a problem.
I ruled out that I was adopted because, I looked like my mom a lot. So it was still a mystery to me where this anger came from. I knew that I needed to Imow about it, especially now since I don’t know how long I have left. But do I have the strength to face them after all these years? Especially Xavier?
was I ready?
1 laid in my big cold queen bed and listened to the battle of the winds going outside. I was still asking myself. Was
Not knowing the answer to that simple question was bugging me. I grew up to become a strong, happy, Independent women. And yet this question is bugging me. Of course it would. It’s a big decision if you want to see the people who damaged you. My inner self spoke to me.
She did make a good point there. They were the people that damaged me. How long did it take me to get my stuff together? About 8 years. How long did it get me to smile? 5 years: How long did it get me to face the world without cowering? A long time that numbers can’t even compare too. How long did it get me to start trusting people? 8 years but I knew that it would’ve been longer if not for him
Once again my eyes began to water at the memory of how he got me to trust him. I turned over to my side and allowed the tears to fall down. Curling up into fetus style, I began to shake. Oh how, I wish Issac was here with me.
The Next Day (Day 1)
I never felt so heavy and tired before. I guess all the crying that I had done when I got home must have done something. I never cried that much ever
since Issac-
I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to remember that memory that would only re–open my wounds bigger than they already were.
My home phone began to ring uncontrollabel, making me jump in shock. I placed my hand over my racing heart and slowly made my way over to answer the phone.
Looking at the caller ID, it was my dear friend/sister Luanne. Before answering the call, I cleared my throat to make sure that she couldn’t tell that something was wrong
“Hello?” I said.
“HEY GIRLIE!” Shouted Loanne, I pulled the phone away from my ear for a second before pulling it back.
Smiling, I seriously missed her crazy voice that was always filled with happiness and excitment. “What’s up?” I said.
The sky silly!” She teased me, I laughed and shook my head in amusement. “But yea, I just wanted to see how things are going for you… and your Treatments.” She said softly at the end.
sighed and looked down at the counter, drawing swirls as I brought up the conversation that I had w
Iwith my doctor. I had to tell her ASAP before
100
late
“About my treatments… I need to tell you something.
There was a silent pause on both of our lines. Me trying to not cry and tell her right away. You see, I am the type of person to tell news face to face, not over the phone. That was just plain rude.
“Okay. Do you want to tell me now or when we get to see each other?” She said after a while.
“Loanne, you know me. I don’t like to tell something over the phone or text… I want to tell you face to what will happen if I waited to long to tell you”
o face. But it has fo
But it has to be soon, because I don’t know
“Well you can come over today!” She said to me. I looked shocked for a moment and was about to decline but then it was a good idea. She just lived in the town that was like 5 hours away from me. I could drive up there and this weather isn’t that bad.
“Yea… I’ll text you once i get into the town.” I said to her before saying goodbye.
I had to get my stuff ready so that I can make it to the town before it gets dark. As I was doing that, all I could hope for was that nothing went wrong on my way there…and sadly something did happen.
