The meeting room is chilly, the sort of cool that saturates your bones. The long, smooth table between Alexander and me feels like a tremendous gorge, one that is just getting more extensive the more we sit opposite one another.
“Leila, I don’t think you completely figure out the circumstance,” Alexander says, his voice low and cut. He’s been talking like this throughout the previous ten minutes, his tone cool, legitimate like he’s attempting to address me instead of examine.
–
I sit in my seat, my hands twisting into clenched hands on the table. His belittling tone is getting to me, and it takes all that I have not to snap.
“I see completely well,” I say, keeping my voice as consistent as I can make due. “This choice will influence the workers and the fate of the organization I’m not simply staying here since I’m your wife. I’m staying here since I have a stake in this, as well.”
He doesn’t check me out. His eyes stay fixed on the financial report before him, as though he’s, as of now decided on everything, as though my perspective doesn’t make any difference.
“This isn’t a conversation,” he answers, scarcely looking at me. “You don’t have the full picture yet.“The frustration builds in my chest, the feeling of being completely dismissed. I’ve spent months watching him take all the responsibility, pushing me aside as if I’m a mere ornament in this whole thing.
“I do have the full picture, Alexander!” My voice rises before I can stop it. “I might not be the business expert you are, but I can see when something isn’t right. You’re not listening to the people who will be directly affected by this. You’re making decisions like they don’t matter.”
He looks up now, his expression hardening. “I don’t need you to tell me how to run my company, Leila. This is my business, not yours.”
His words hit me like a slap. Briefly, I couldn’t relax. He’s right, right? He’s the one in charge. He’s the one making major decisions, and I’m simply here
here–giving thoughts he doesn’t want to hear.
“I’m not letting you know how to run your company. I’m advising you to consider people who make it work. I’m advising you to quit dealing with everybody like they’re extra.” I take a full breath, the sting of his words actually consuming. “You can’t continue to close me out this way, Alexander.”
There’s a long quietness between us. He doesn’t talk, but I see the muscle in his jaw fix, the main sign that he’s impacted by whatever I’ve said. The quietness stretches, and I feel each second of it. My chest fixes, the tension building with every moment he doesn’t answer. “I’ve tried, Leila,” he finally says, his voice low and guarded. “I’ve tried to include you, but you keep overstepping. You don’t understand the stakes here.”
“Maybe I don’t,” I say, my voice trembling. “Maybe I don’t, but I’m not going to stand by and watch you destroy everything without at least trying to help.”
“You think I’m destroying everything?” His voice rises slightly, a flash of something I can’t quite place in his eyes. “You have no idea what it’s like to carry this weight, Leila. You don’t understand the pressure.”
“I’m not trying to undermine you, Alexander,” I say, standing now, the anger bubbling to the surface. “But this is supposed to be a partnership. And right now, it feels like you don’t even see me as your equal.”
The room is thick with strain. The words I’ve recently expressed linger palpably, weighty and charged. I can’t force myself to take a look at him now, not with the manner in which he’s gazing at me like I’ve quite recently tossed a pail of cold water in front of him.
“I’m doing this for us,” he says after a long, stressed stop. “All that I do is for us. Do you believe I’m attempting to close you out? You figure I couldn’t care less?”
“I think you’ve been dealing with me as I don’t make any difference,” I snap, the words leaving my lips before I can keep them down. “You’re so up to speed in your world that you disregard mine. You fail to remember that I’m in this with you.”
His face softens just for a moment–just a flicker of vulnerability before it hardens again. “I never wanted this for you, Leila. This life, this business… I didn’t want to drag you into it.”
I blink, shocked by the admission. He’s never said anything like this before, and it hits me harder than I expect.
“You expected wanted this for me?” I echo, my voice barely above a whisper. “What do you mean? You think I don’t belong here?”
“No,” he says rapidly, excessively fast, as though the prospect of me leaving this world scares him. “That is not the very thing I meant.
I make a stride back, my brain dashing. What’s the significance here, then, at that point? What’s happening behind those walls he’s built up so carefully?
The quiet stretches once more, but this time it’s unique. It’s not only the heaviness of our contention pushing down on us; it’s the heaviness of something different. Something I’m simply beginning to understand.
“You have to understand something, Leila,” Alexander says quietly, his voice softer now. “I don’t know how to do this–how to be with you–when everything around me is falling apart. I don’t know how to balance it all.”
I swallow hard, my heart aching for him despite the anger that still lingers in my chest. “You’re not alone, Alexander. You don’t have to do this alone.”
He shakes his head, his demeanour a blend of disappointment and lament. “I’ve built this life all alone, Leila. I don’t have the foggiest idea how to share it to anybody.”
1/2
Chapter 13
+25 Bonus
With don’t have any idea what to share with that. The words feel trapped in my throat. How would I make him see that we’re in the same boat, regardless of the amount he attempts to close me out?
However, as I open my mouth to answer, there’s a thump on the door sharp, unshakable. We both move in the direction of it, and Alexander stands, obviously aggravated by the interruption.
“This isn’t over,” he mutters under his breath before walking toward the door.
I stand there, frozen, as he opens it to reveal his assistant. But what she says next leaves me speechless.
“Mr. Hawke, there’s been a development with the company. It’s urgent.”
Alexander’s face solidifies right away, all hints of weakness gone in a moment. He goes to me, his eyes cold once more. “We’ll proceed with this later.”
The door bangs behind him, letting me stand alone, my heart beating in my chest. That feeling – the one I’ve been keeping away from for such a long time ascends in me once more. The feeling that something is breaking among us, and I don’t know whether I can fix it
2/2
Cheater
