The boardroom is colder than I remember. Indeed, even the air feels more sterile today, like it’s waiting for something to change. The sound of the door closing behind me echoes in the silence, and before stepping forward I hesitate for a moment.
I don’t know why in the world would I come here today. It wasn’t simply the pile of administrative work sitting before me back at home, or the rising frustration with my failure to figure out everything.
It was more than that–something deep inside pushing me forward. I need to do this.
Alexander’s absence is like a shadow in this room, looming but not touching anything. He hasn’t arrived, and I understand exactly the amount I’ve missed having his presence if only to check how I should act.
I sit at the enormous gathering table, crossing my hands before me, attempting to keep my nerves under control. I look at the files before me once more. Business, finance, systems, everything I’ve never genuinely needed to manage up to this point.
I know I’m hanging around here for a reason; however, I likewise know that there’s no room for mistakes. I’ve learned the hard way possible exactly how delicate everything is, the way simple it could all come crashing down if I don’t sort out some way to explore this world.
As I begin looking once again at the documents once more, the entryway opens, and I don’t need to look up to know it’s Alexander. He’s always had the option to order a room quite easily. The manner in which his presence fills each edge of the space, forcing but unpretentious, is something that constantly left me in wonder and fear.
“Leila,” he says, his voice cold, the usual emotionless tone.“What are you doing here?”
I look up, meeting his look. “I’m checking on the most recent numbers, attempting to get a handle on them.”
He expresses nothing from the beginning, simply concentrates on me, his look incoherent. The quiet between us stretches, and I can’t resist the urge to consider what he’s really thinking.
Does he even care? Or am I just another piece in his carefully controlled world?
“I didn’t think you’d be the sort to engage in the business,” he at last says, his words more cut than expected.
I grip my jaw, doing whatever it takes not to let the sting of his remark get to me. “I don’t think you comprehend what I’m able to do, Alexander. I’ve been running from things for a really long time. I want to assume command over my life now, and that implies understanding all that I can. Including
this.”
His eyes narrow, and for a second, I wonder if he’ll argue with me. All things being equal, he moves to the seat close to me, his stance tense. “You don’t have to do this,” he says delicately, almost like an admonition. “It’s not your responsibility.”
“I think it is,” I answer, my voice consistent regardless of the nerves crawling up my spine. “You’ve clarified that this marriage is something other than a personal arrangement. Assuming I will be essential for it, I really want to know what’s in question.”
He watches me for a long moment before, at last, talking once more, his voice brought down this time, touched with something I can’t exactly put. “You don’t need to prove anything to me, Leila.
You’re already part of this world.”
I meet his gaze again, a sharp edge to my tone. “And yet, I feel like an outsider every single day.”
His quietness waits, and I can feel the heaviness of his confused articulation squeezing against me. I don’t know what to expect, yet I realize this discussion is nowhere near finished.
The unease between us is overwhelming, thick and weighty like a storm prepared to break. It’s a clash of wills now, not just between me and the business, but among me and him. I’m attempting to cut out a spot for myself in a world that feels too chilly, too far off; however, every time I move forward, Alexander pulls back significantly further.
I’ve been feeling an ever–increasing number these days the space between us. It’s not simply physical, it’s personal. He’s an alien to me, somebody I figured I could rely upon, but presently, I just can’t associate with him. Each time I connect, I don’t receive anything consequently.
“I didn’t request any of this, you know,” I say unobtrusively, ending the quietness. “You didn’t ask for it also. Be that as it may, we are right here.”
His look gleams momentarily; however, he says nothing. All things considered, he stands up unexpectedly and strolls toward the window, peering out over the city underneath.
For a moment, I wonder if he’s even heard me. Then he turns, his back still facing me. “You’re right. But this was the deal, wasn’t it? And we’re bound by it.”
I stand up, the need to confront him growing stronger. “That’s not good enough anymore, Alexander. I can’t live in this marriage with nothing but the coldness between us. Do you think I don’t see it? You think I don’t feel how you shut me out every time I try to get close?”
He doesn’t turn around, but his body stiffens. “Leila, don’t start this now. We have bigger things to focus on.“.
1/2
Chapter 12
+25 Bonus
“Don’t you dare shut me down like that!” I snap, taking a step toward him. “You can’t continue imagining all is well while it’s going to pieces around us. You figure I don’t have any idea how much pressure you’re under. How hard you’re attempting to fix what’s messed up?”
He, at last, goes to confront me, his demeanour hard, mixed up. “You figure I don’t have any idea what I’m doing, Leila? You believe I’m not mindful of all that in question here?”
The words hit harder than I expected, and briefly, I felt the natural sting of powerlessness. He’s right. He’s forever been the one in charge, the one who makes the decision, the one who fixes everything.
Be that as it may, this time… I’m not waiting for him to fix it.
“You’ve been doing this alone for such a long time,” I say, my voice shaking with feeling. “In any case, I’m here now, Alexander. And I’m not just a bystander. I want to help. I want to be more than just the wife you ignore and resent.”
The air between us crackles with tension, and for a fleeting moment, I think I see something soften in his eyes. Something almost human. Almost vulnerable. But it’s gone in an instant, replaced by the mask he wears so well.
“Leila,” he says, his voice softer now but still carrying that distant edge, “I don’t know if you understand what you’re asking for.”
I take a step closer, my voice steady but resolute. “I understand more than you think. I’m not asking for you to change, Alexander. I’m asking for you to
let me in.”
The words linger palpably like a test, and without precedent for an extended period, I feel like I’ve at long last expressed out loud whatever I’ve expected to say. The quiet stretches, thick and weighty.
However at that point, similarly as the second seems like it will break, there’s a knock on the entryway.
Once more, Alexander’s face solidifies, the weakness vanishing as fast as it came. “What is it?” he asks, his voice cool and expert.
A voice from the opposite side of the entryway answers, critical however low. “Sir, we have an issue. The financials have endured a shot. There’s been a leak.”
I feel the heaviness of the words even before I completely comprehend what they mean. It resembles the ground shifts underneath me, the air unexpectedly thick with another sort of tension. Alexander’s face darkens further.
“We’ll deal with it,” he says curtly, before turning back to me. “This conversation isn’t over, Leila.”
Before I can answer, he ventures out, leaving me remaining there, the heaviness existing apart from everything else pushing down on me. I don’t have the foggiest idea what comes straight away. Yet, I, in all actuality, do know this: everything is about to change.
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