I look fixedly at the clock on the wall, counting the seconds that slip by without anything changing, The quietness between Alexander and me feels heavier tonight. It’s the kind of silence that stretches out into hours, pressing on me, chocking me. I’ve learned how to continue to be in this silence, how to feign it that it doesn’t bother me, that it’s just a part of the arrangement. But, it’s different, tonight.
I’ve reached my limit.
I can feel this biting emptiness that has been creeping up on me since the day we said our vows, I’ve been endeavouring to ignore it, trying to persuade myself that this is exactly what my life has turned to, that this is the price I pay for saving my family from mess. Put tonight, I can’t posh the thoughts aside any longer.
I’ve had enough.
Taking a deep breath, I move in the direction of the man turning over a financial report like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, who’s sitting across the room. His attention is fixed on the papers before him, his jaw tightly closed in concentration. He’s so caught up in whatever he’s perusing, it’s as though I’m invisible.
But I’m not invisible. I won’t be. Not anymore.
“Alexander,” I say, my voice firmer than I feel.
He doesn’t respond, not at first. The pages turn, the rustling sound filling the silence between us. Before he looks up at me,the quiet stretches for what feels like an eternity, his eyes cold and distant, as though he’s not fully present.
“What is it?” His tone is held in a tight grip, efficient. Not rude, but far from warm.
I’m shocked by the absence of emotion in his voice, by how easily he brushes me aside. His intent look flashes back to the papers in front of him, as if he’s as of now lost interest in me.
“Can we talk?” I say, leaning forward slightly, hoping to draw his attention away from the report. “Really talk.”
This time, he sets the papers down with a sigh, his fingers tapping the table. “What about?”
The incuriousness stings more than I expect it to. He seems almost indifferent to the fact that I’m trying to make an effort, trying to break through the walls he’s built around himself. My frustration bubbles up.
“About us,” I say, not hesitating, “About this marriage,”
Alexander raises an eyebrow, his eyes narrowing slightly, “What about it?”
“Why is it so… difficult?” I ask, my voice trembling slightly despite my best efforts to remain calm. “Why can’t we even have a normal conversation? You’re always so distant. It’s like you don’t care, like I’m just… a part of your business portfolio.”
He reclines in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. His demeanor remains incomprehensible. “What do you expect me to say, Leila?”
1 blink, caught off guard by his bluntness. “I expect you to care,” I reply, my voice rising without meaning to. “I expect you to see me as something more than just a piece of paper you signed. A business transaction. That’s what I feel like sometimes. A pawn.”
“Leila-” He begins to say something, but I cut him off, my voice sharp.
“No, I’m not done,” I snap, feeling an explosion of repressed dissatisfaction escape. “You won’t ever open up. You never let me in. What’s the point of this if we can’t even talk? If I’m only here to grin and nod while you run your empire, then let me know now. Don’t drag me along, pretending this is a marriage when all it is, is a contract,”
Alexander stands in an abrupt manner, the seat scratching against the floor as he pushes it back. The movement is so sudden, it takes me by surprise. I stand,as well, ready to confront him head–on.
“I didn’t request for this,” I say before I can stop myself. “I didn’t ask for any of it. You could’ve allowed me to carry on with my life, find my own way. But no, You had to dip in and take control of everything, including me.”
He runs a hand through his hair, looking conflicted between disturbance and something different I can’t place. “You don’t have the foggiest idea, Leila,” he says, his voice low, but now there’s a hint of something gentler in it. “I did what I needed to do. You think I wanted this marriage, either? You think I wanted to be trapped like this?”
At the raw emotion in his voice, my heart stutters,but the doubt creeps back in almost immediately. “Then why did you agree?” I ask, a bitter edge to my words. “If it was so hard for you, why go through with it?”
“I had no choice,” he replies, his eyes narrowing as he takes a step toward me. The air between us crackles with tension, and I feel my heart racing. “The deal with your father…it was necessary. You think I’m doing this because I want to control you? No. I’m doing this because it’s the only way to protect both of us ”
Chapter
+25 Bonus
“Leila, that’s not-”
“Then what is it, Alexander?” I demand, stepping closer to him now, almost daring him to contradict me. “If this marriage is more than just a business deal, then show me. Show me that you care. Because right now, all I see is a man who can’t be bothered to even talk to me unless it’s about work. I’m… I’m drowning in all of this, and you’re nowhere to be found.”
There’s a long pause. His face hardens, but for a split second, I swear I see something flicker in his eyes–regret? Guilt? Or maybe something deeper, something I’m too afraid to acknowledge.
“Leila,” he says, his voice suddenly quieter, almost softer. “I’m not like you. I don’t… do the state of feeling the way you do. I don’t know how to make you feel better, or how to… fix this. I don’t know what you want from me.”
3
I look fixedly at him, not having the foggiest idea of what to say. His words hang in the air between us, abnormal and weighty. The wall that’s been between us is starting to break, but it’s still there, thick and not capable of being penetrated.
“I just want you to care,” I murmur, the words sliding out before I can stop them. “There’s nothing more to it.”
Alexander doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he turns away, his back to me as he strolls in the direction of the window, his silhouette framed by the city lights. The frigidity in him is still there, but there’s something different now, something I can’t exactly put my finger on.
“Leila, I’m doing this for you,” he says, his voice low. “Regardless of whether you believe it or not.”
I watch him for a moment, wondering if he truly don’t find the depth of what I’m feeling incomprehensible. But before I can say anything more, the phone rings again, this time breaking the fragile quietness that has settled between us.
Alexander doesn’t move. Neither do I.
I take a quick look at the phone. It’s a business call. But somehow, I know that the moment has passed. We’re no closer to overcoming any issues between us. And as much as I want to believe that things could transforme, I don’t know if we’re capable of it.
The phone continues to ring. I don’t look at him as he answers it. But I feel the distance between us growing once more, that invisible barrier creeping back into place.
And with it, the overwhelming feeling that we are both trapped.
As Alexander steps away to answer the call, his back turned to me, I feel a startling weight get comfortable in my chest.The silence stretches between us like being in a burial ground. It’s as if we’re two strangers residing in a similar house, bound by obligation, but never genuinely connecting.
I can hear him speaking into the phone, his tone is confined and businesslike. But it’s his words that cut through the silence.
“We need to move fast. The enemy has already made their move.”
The words hang in the air, and my pulse quickens.
Enemy? Who is he talking about?
