The phone rings, the sharp, piercing sound pulling me from my thoughts. I look at the screen: “Dad“. The name alone sends a shock of frenzy through me, a similar feeling of fear I’ve felt each time he’s called recently.
I take a deep breath, attempting to steady my nerves. “Hi?”
“Leila,” my dad’s voice pops through the line, harsh and stressed. “We need to talk.”
I can hear the heaviness of his words even before he says anything more. The most recent couple of months have been loaded up with cryptic warnings, commitments of ‘things improving,‘ and repeated affirmations that everything was under control. However, I realize it’s all falling apart. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach.
“What’s happening, Father?” I ask my voice scarcely over a murmur. I need to sound quiet, but the nervousness crawling into my chest is almost difficult to shake.
“We’re in a tough situation,” he says gruffly. “The company… it’s failing. We can’t keep up any longer.”
I sit down on the edge of the lounge chair, my hands holding the phone firmly. “What do you mean?.? I’ve expressed that previously. Is this simply one more one of your…”
“No, Leila. This time, it’s genuine.” His words are harsh, and I can hear the break in his voice, the exhaustion that has become so natural lately. “The financial backers are pulling out. We’ve hit where we can’t cover the debts. We rant more capital, and quick.”
I’m ququiteriefly, attempting to deal with what he’s said. I need to shout, to let him know that this isn’t the way I maintained that my life should go that I never requested any of this, to be trapped in a universe of business deals and monetary crises. But, all I can oversee is a delicate, “What do you want me to do?”
“We’re working on options,” he says rapidly. “Yet, I want you to remain on track. Alexander
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I freeze at the notice of his name. “Alexander?” I echo, confused. “What does he have to do with this?”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “Leila… He’s known about our circumstance for some time now. We’ve been talking about certain conceivable outcomes.”
“Discussing?” I ask, the intensity ascending in my chest. “You’ve been conversing with him about this behind my
back?”
My voice breaks toward the end, an unexpected influx of disappointment crashing over me. I don’t have any idea why it bothers me to such an extent. He’s my husband, after all. I should be used to this at this point – the manner in which my life feels like it’s being controlled by everybody except me But, hearing that my dad has involved Alexander without letting me know feels like another blow, another way they’re pushing me further out of the decision–making process.
“He’s been helpful, Leila,” my dad continues, his voice relaxed. “You don’t comprehend the tension we’re under. If things don’t turn around soon, we could lose everything. The company, the house, the…”
The notice of the house sends an ache of culpability through me. It’s our family home- the one I grew up in. The one that has been an image of safety, of progress, even though it’s become all the more a burden than a blessing.
“I know,” I say discreetly. “However, it’s not just about the company, Father. It’s about my life as well. I didn’t request this marriage, I didn’t request ·
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“I realize you didn’t,” he intrudes on, his tone soft now, practically remorseful. “Yet, once in a while, the ideal choices aren’t the ones you want to make. You’re not only my daughter, Leila. You’re… part of a greater picture now. Also, I really want you to grasp that.”
I shut my eyes, letting out an unstable breath. The strain is choking, its heaviness taking steps to fall all that I assumed I had some awareness of myself and my future. How did I get here? How has everything turned out from something I could shape, something I had some control over, to this… this wreck of commitments and expectations?
“I’m sorry, Father,” I express, barely above a murmur. “But, I don’t want to be part of this bigger picture.”
I hear his sigh, tedious. “You don’t get to choose, Leila. I’ve generally given what’s best for you. For us. Furthermore, at that moment, what’s best is keeping Alexander included. He’s our main expectation.”
than
–
–
Acold shudder runs down my spine. The possibility of my marriage being a deal an arrangement I didn’t pursue – out of nowhere feels more genuine
any time in recent memory. It’s not just about hiding any hint of failure any longer. It’s not just about keeping up appearances. It’s about survival.
“Is that what you think I am to him?” I ask, my voice thick with emotion. “A… a way to fix his business? A tool for his empire?”
“Leila-”
“No, Father,” I cut him off, my heart beating in my chest. “You’re correct. I don’t get to choose. But it seems like one of us does
There’s another delay, longer this time, and briefly, I figure he could offer something else. However, at that point t, the line goes dead.
I gaze at the phone in my hand, the quietness in the room stronger than any time than ever.
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The truth of what I’ve recently board sinks in. Alexander, my husband, has been part of the decision. He’s been important for saving my family from monetary run. However, it doesn’t feel like a marriage. It doesn’t feel like a partnership. It seems like one more arrangement of strings I can’t escape, Its a puppet, and they’re the ones pulling the strings.
Just as I’m going to throw my telephone onto the lounge chair in frustration, I hear the front door open, followed by the sound of strides in the hall.
Aeneder.
I stand up, my bands trembling as I force myself to smile. “Hey,” I say, my voice betraying none of the confusion twirling inside me.
He stops in the entryway of the paparlourhis appearance ambiguous. His suit is sharp, as usual; however, there’s something different in his eyes something that seems as though he is computing. However, it’s difficult to tell without a doubt.
Tela “he says, his voice smooth, however there’s a strain there I haven’t heard previously. “We need to talk.”
My heart skips a beat. What happens next? I want to shout, to tell him to let me be, but I can’t. Not at present not when my whole world is going crazy.
“I just conversed with my dad,” I say, forcing the words out. “I know what’s happening,”
His eyes glimmer, only briefly, however, at that point h, he veils it with that consistently present apathy. “Good,” he says. “Then you comprehend the reason why I’m included. It’s the best way to guarantee the survival of your family,”
I step nearer, my voice somewhat more keen than I expected. “What about my survival, Alexander? And my life? Is that simply collateral damage in all of
this
He doesn’t answer immediately. His look locks with mine, his jaw fixing. Furthermore, at that time, I recognised something easily – something that could be more profound than the typical cold calculation. Briefly, there’s something different. Something raw.
However, at that point, it’s gone. As fast as it came.
“I’m doing what I really need to do,” he says, his voice level once more, cold. “You can’t see the bigger picture at present, I’m attempting to safeguard you, Leila
I open my mouth to say something – anything – yet the words stall out in my throat. I want to let him know I don’t need his protection. I need to let him know I’m not some delicate thing he can envelop by an air pocket. But, the words pass on before they leave my lips.
Instead, I just nod. “I’ll trust you… for now,” I say, however, I can’t resist the urge to feel the sting of betrayal as the words leave my mouth.
The quietness between us stretches, weighty and choking.
“Good,” he says. Just like that, the moment is over.
He turns and strolls, leaving me remaining there, feeling more lost than ever.
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