Chapter 4%
D
The silence outside the Hale house was louder than anything inside it.%
It followed me as I wheeled my suitcase down the front steps, still hearing Sophie’s cries in my head. My hand shook when I unlocked my car door, not from fear but from the effort of not turning around.%
I drove in silence. No music. No calls. Just the hum of tires and a voice in my chest whispering: You left her.”
But I didn’t turn back.%
I’d spent five years choosing them over myself. For once, I needed to see what happened when I didn’t.
Aunt May’s apartment was small and filled with the kind of chaos that made it feel alive. The mismatched teacups, stacks of books, plants in coffee cans. She hugged me the moment I walked in, no questions asked.%
“You look pale,” she said. “Have you eaten?“%
“Not since breakfast.“%
She made tea and reheated lasagna while I collapsed on her couch like I hadn’t sat in months. I hadn’t planned to cry. But the moment she handed me a plate and sat beside me, the tears came quietly. No drama. Just overflow.
Aunt May didn’t say anything. She let me cry and chew at the same time. That’s why I loved her.”
“You’re staying as long as you need,” she said./
“I’m not staying long.”
“You always say that.”
That night, I opened the journal I hadn’t touched since Sophie was three, since the year I stopped being me.
The first page was blank.
Day 11⁄2
I left.
Sophie cried. Marcus didn’t stop me. Ava stood there like she won something.
I don’t know if I feel free or gutted.”
All I know is I’m not going back until I know who the hell I am without them.2
I closed the journal before I could spiral.
At least I wrote something.
Later that night, I dreamed of Isabelle.”
She was sitting at the kitchen table, just like she used to, peeling apples with that tiny knife she never let me touch.
In the dream, she looked tired but whole. Like she did before the hospital. Before the slow fade.}
“You look like hell,” she said.”
“Thanks.”%
“You left.” she quietly said.”
“I had to.”/
Isabelle nodded. “You stayed longer than anyone expected. Including me.”>
“I didn’t do it for you,” I said.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s why it hurts so much.”
I woke up with the taste of metal in my mouth and my heart pounding like I’d run.
The next morning, Aunt May found me sitting on the balcony with black coffee and the dark circles of someone who hadn’t slept well in
years.
“You want to be useful again?” she asked.”
“That obvious?“%
She slid a colorful flyer onto the table.”
Community Arts Center – Now Hiring Part–Time Instructors
1 stared at it.
Kids. Paint. Paper. Something old and quiet inside me stirred.”
“I don’t even know if I remember how.”
“You remember,” she said. “You just buried it under guilt.”
I forced a smile, just enough for Aunt May to notice it.”
“Come on, let’s take a walk,”
Aunt May and I took a walk through a quiet park near her building. No strollers. No kids. Just wind and the faint scent of lilacs.” “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.”
“I think I already said it all. Just no one was listening.“%
..
232
20.0
“You’ve always carried too much,” she said. “Even when you were little. Always trying to fix things.”
“I didn’t fix anything,” I muttered.
“No. But you didn’t break it either.”
I didn’t know how to believe that. Not yet.
I spent the afternoon folding laundry and not checking my phone.
At 3:43 p.m., my phone buzzed.
Three missed calls from Marcus.
One voicemail.
I didn’t listen.}
I told myself I didn’t care.
But I lied.
At 5:12, another buzz. This time, a message. Not from Marcus.
1 new voicemail from: Sophie Hale
I froze.
My thumb hovered over the icon, not pressing it. Not yet.”
Sophie had never called me before. Never left a message.
I told myself it was probably empty. Or worse, another knife. But my heart started pounding anyway.
I played it.
Her voice was quiet. She sounded younger. Or maybe just cracked open.§
“Callie… I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it. I just wanted you to stay. I thought if you got mad… maybe you’d stop leaving. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how to say it. Please…“)
There was a pause and a breath that sounded like she was crying.}]
“I keep opening the door like maybe you’ll come back. But you don’t. You’re not coming back, are you?“}
The message ended.}
I stared at my phone, the silence in the room now unbearable.
Outside, the city kept moving.”
Inside me, something cracked.§
