14
Life really was absurd sometimes.
I lay sprawled out on the bed, my eyes fixed on the time capsule box sitting on the desk, and for a moment, it felt like I was transported
back in time.
Looking back, Clayton had always been my guardian angel.
I was a sensitive kid, easily feeling inferior, and often got into arguments with classmates. But no matter how big the other kid was, Clayton would always step in front of me, like a human shield. He’d take the hits, end up bruised and gasping in pain, and still find the strength to comfort me while I cried.
Thinking about it now, I rolled onto my side and buried my face into the pillow, letting out a quiet sigh.
Somehow, every time I needed help, he’d just show up like magic.
I still remember my first period in seventh grade. I was terrified. That unfamiliar red had me sobbing in the girls‘ bathroom, too afraid to move, not knowing who to ask for help.
When Clayton heard about it, he skipped class and ran straight to the bathroom. He stood outside for over an hour, ignoring the stares and whispers, gently coaxing me to open the door.
When I finally did, he saw the blood on my pants and froze. His ears turned beet red, the color slowly creeping up to his forehead. He then took off his jacket, wrapped it around my waist, and, after getting permission from the teacher, he rode his bike to take me home.
At my place, he pulled out one of Auntie’s sanitary pads and spent forever figuring it out, just to clumsily show me how to use it.
With such a great person, how could I not fall for him?
But I never got the chance to tell him how I felt, and that unspoken love turned into bitterness and resentment after a huge misunderstanding.W
And from that point on, we never saw each other again.N
If I’d gone back for Grandma’s funeral and noticed something was off back then, would things between me and Clayton have ended differently?
The thought barely formed before I shut it down. No use digging into the past.
I sat up and rummaged through the items in the time capsule, forcing myself to stop overthinking.
I still didn’t know what kind of work Clayton did exactly, but judging from his style and the way he carried himself, he seemed to be doing pretty well these past few years.
Honestly, just having his help again was already more than I deserved. I had no right to expect anything more.
As I flipped through the pages of my old diary, I realized he was right. The adult version of me had become indecisive and overly cautious, not at all like the fearless little Shannon I used to be, the one who acted boldly without overthinking.m
But when I got to the last page, my fingers froze.
There was a message there written by Clayton.N
I had no idea he’d added anything.”
[Shannon, I like you. But we’re still too young right now, and you might not know the difference between relying on someone and truly liking them. Well, that’s okay. I’m not giving up. We’ve got time. When the moment’s right, I’ll tell you how I feel.]
[Who knows? By the time we read this again, we might be married with kids. Maybe our kid will roll their eyes at us for still being all lovey–dovey.]2
I kept tracing those words with my fingers, imagining the younger Clayton writing them with that confident little smile on his face.” And just like that, my heart ached.”
The next morning, I woke up early. But before leaving the bedroom, I made sure to dab concealer under my eyes to hide the puffiness. When I met Clayton’s eyes at the breakfast table, I tried to keep a straight face. But then he spoke, and I nearly lost it.
#
“Shannon, did you finish reading the diary last night?”
My hand stopped mid–stir in my coffee.
Out of all the things in that box, that’s what he chose to bring up? Was he trying to confirm whether I’d seen what he wrote?!
Still, if I stayed silent now, it’d just make things even more awkward. So I forced myself to act casual.
“You really do know me well,” I said with a nervous laugh. “Didn’t I major in media and journalism? I was thinking, maybe I could start a food vlog series, recreating dishes from ancient books. Take a shot at the whole self–media thing.”
He was smart. He definitely caught on that I was changing the subject. But seeing that I wasn’t as gloomy as I had been the past few days, he went along with it.
“Sounds great. If it’s something you want to do, go for it. And if you need anything, just say the word.”
I nodded, grateful he didn’t push. The tension in my chest finally eased as I dug into breakfast again.
But then, he added one more thing.
“Shannon, judging by your reaction, I’m guessing you read what I wrote on the last page of the diary, right?“S
10:32 AM
