Chapter 8
I walked to the window and stared out at the street below.
No pain this time.
Just emptiness. I had grown numb.
I hired a lawyer to draft divorce papers.
Then asked a colleague to help me rent an apartment in a neighborhood I didn’t even know
This time, I was truly leaving.
I lived alone in a 60–square–meter apartment for a month.X
Nathaniel called countless times each day.
Once, that would’ve shaken me.
Now, no matter what he said, I felt nothing.
Until he finally sent a message.
I’m willing to divorce. But we must meet face to face.
Reading it, I felt a strange sense of relief.
When I returned to our home, I heard the sound of a baby crying.
Following the sound, I found Nathaniel upstairs.
He was taking care of the twins. He looked tired.X
His black hair had strands of silver now–so stark, so sudden.X
Maybe I really was pathetic.
I thought I’d hardened my heart.
But seeing him like that, my emotions stirred again, I didn’t interrupt, just watched quietly until he turned around and saw me. Surprise flashed across his face. Then joy.
Then panic. And a kind of helplessness.
It was a mess of feelings couldn’t decipher.
“Wait a bit,” he said softly. “They’re almost asleep.
I nodded and walked over to the cradle.8
The two babies were sleeping peacefully, so pure, so innocent
Like we once were.
When he first saved me from those bullies.
Back then, we were kids.
We did everything together. Our first time skipping school. Our first time watching the sunrise.!!
Our first time counting stars. Our first kiss.!
So many firsts. So many memories.
And now, thirteen years later, We were no longer the same people.
After the kids were asleep, we stood on the balcony.
He handed me a cigarette, I frowned.
“I quit a long time ago.” Back then, he used to smoke, fight and drink &
I begged him to quit.
We fought over it so many times.8
Eventually, I promised to quit too, so he wouldn’t feel alone.
I had to learn to smoke just to quit with him,
It took three years, but we did it.
To celebrate, we even created our own “quit day.”W
And now, he was smoking again.
“When did you start again?” I asked.
“The day your lawyer served the papers,” he said, blowing out a heart–shaped smoke ring.
He was always good at that!
He used to tease me with it when we were young, used to make me blush.
I looked at him calmly. “Do you have any conditions?”
He hesitated. Then looked off into the distance.B
“You misunderstood. I only met with Veronica that one time–to say goodbye.”
shook my head. “There’s no point talking about it now, is there?”
10:34 AM
He went silent.M
Finally, after snuffing out his cigarette, he looked at me.}]
“Is there any way we don’t have to get divorced?”
C
