Chapter 14: Humiliation
Russell’s eyes widened, faint lines creasing his forehead as he opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out were stammers with no discernible words.
All those times he accused me of greed, claiming I was only after money, it had merely been his side of the story. I was the one travelling to remote villages, doing good for his sake, trying to build some merit for him.
And him…?)
Suddenly, Russell grabbed a small knife and shoved it into my hand.
I frowned, taken aback. “What the hell are you doing?“M
His voice was shaky as he said, “Nadine, help me. Cut off this tattoo.”
I froze as he rolled up his sleeve and revealed the faded “CJ” inked on his wrist.
A bitter laugh slipped out of me. “Now that Claudia’s gone, you’re over her? This is your version of love, Russell?”
Before I could pull away, he grabbed my hand and forced the blade to his wrist.}]
His artery pulsed under my fingers, blood shooting out as soon as the knife made contact.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to pull back, but his grip tightened. He wasn’t letting go.”
He guided my hand, slicing away the tattoo slowly, painfully, until bits of flesh started peeling back.”
His face twisted in agony, veins bulging in his neck. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek until blood spilled from his mouth, but he didn’t stop. He just kept pushing, like he needed to prove something.
Eventually, the skin with the “CJ” was gone, and just torn flesh was left behind.
Blood splattered across my face, the sharp metallic scent hitting me so hard it turned my stomach.
But Russell wasn’t done.
He stripped off his shirt, revealing a body sculpted from years of rigid discipline.}
Then he took my hand again, placing the knife right over his chest. “Do it, Nadine. Carve your name here.“}
The knife dropped from my fingers and hit the floor with a sharp clang.}
I stumbled back, completely stunned.
“Russell, you’ve lost your mind!” I yelled.
He let out this hollow, almost unhinged laugh. “I’ve been like this since the second I realized you were gone.””
“Nadine,” Russell begged, stepping closer, his voice filled with desperation, “Just one more chance.” Let me prove how much I love you. Carve your riame into me, and then we’ll never be apart again.”
I backed away, my body instinctively moving even before my mind could catch up.
With nothing else around me, I grabbed a wine bottle off the shelf and smashed it over his head. The red wine mixed with blood was running down his face. The scent turned thick and nauseating, sweet and metallic, clashing so horribly I thought I might throw up.
“Get out, Russell! Get the hell out! I don’t ever want to see you again!“}
I turned and ran up the stairs, refusing to look back.
Because I knew if I stayed even a second longer, he really might kill himself to prove something.”
I collapsed onto my bed, chest heaving as I gasped for air. Even with my eyes shut, that awful scene kept replaying in my mind.”
What he didn’t understand was that the more he acted like this, the harder it became to forgive him.
This wasn’t love. Love wasn’t violent or obsessive. It wasn’t about blood or pain or forcing someone to stay. It was about respect and about choosing each other, even when it wasn’t easy.”
But Russell was all fire and destruction, desperate to be loved without knowing what love even meant. And I couldn’t carry that anymore.”
I lay there, wide awake, for hours.
He didn’t come back. Didn’t knock on the door. Didn’t scream or cry.”
At some point, I got up and peeked out the window.
There he was. Kneeling on the ground outside my room.”
Rain poured down, soaking him through. His chest was raw and bleeding where my name was carved. The water mixed with the blood, dripping into a dark little puddle at his knees.”
He looked pale, barely holding himself up. Yet his eyes never left my window.”
I knew exactly what he was doing
Russell was trying to get pity and trying to make me forgive him.!!
But I wasn’t that girl anymore. Not the girl who cried for him. Not the one who clung to him.
He broke that version of me.%
Love that shows up too late isn’t love–it’s a weed choking out everything that could’ve been.
So I turned away and pretended I never saw him.
That night, I finally slept–no dreams, just quiet.#
9:07 AM
…N
The next morning, I came downstairs to find Russell already awake. He’d laid out a huge breakfast spread–French dishes, Italian dishes, everything you could think of.N
Like some picture–perfect husband.
Russell looked at me hopefully, eyes practically begging for a reaction.}]
I didn’t say a word, just picked up a piece of toast and took a bite.
“Take care of your wound,” I said after a moment. “Don’t let it scar.“M
His whole face lit up like he thought that meant something.
Russell reached for my hand, his voice shaking. “Nadine, have you forgiven me?”
He really thought all this was enough.M
I pulled my hand away and wiped it with a tissue as if it had gotten dirty. “I don’t want to see my name on your body. It disgusts me.”
He froze. All the color drained from his face.
“Nadine, don’t say that. I’ll die without you. Please. I’ll do anything. Just forgive me.”
“Really?” I looked at him with a faint, sarcastic smile. “Fine, go to the freezer in my room and get me a piece of Antarctic ice.”Д
Russell didn’t dare delay and rushed over immediately, moving hands and feet. He carefully held the piece of Antarctic ice with his bare hands.N
That was a special Antarctic ice I had dug out bit by bit by hand, to celebrate his birthday. Then I cut it carefully into a crystal–clear gem.//
But he would never know that.
I grabbed the Antarctic ice from his hands, then threw it into the backyard swimming pool.
The pool hadn’t been cleaned for a long time. Its surface was covered with algae, moss, and many unidentified bugs.
I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “If you can fish it out before the ice melts, I’ll forgive you.”
He didn’t say anything. Just gave me that soft, pathetic look again.
Then he peeled off his shirt, his chest still bleeding, and stepped toward the pool.
“Nadine, I told you. If it’s what you want, I’ll do it.”
He dove in, the splash echoing through the quiet.
The poo! was enormous–I’d had it built that way. Back then, it felt like luxury. Now, it was just the perfect stage for his desperation. He kept surfacing, over and over, gasping for air, searching wildly for that tiny stone like it held the key to redemption.
FI FX < *
And I just stood there, silent, watching him struggle through the filth and humiliate himself for a love that had vanished.
But I didn’t need it. Not anymore.
Five minutes passed. He still hadn’t surfaced.
I left without waiting any longer and turned away.
