4
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The
The thought of leaving this place with Selena filled me with a nervous excitement.
I, who usually fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, found myself wide awake.
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When Marcus returned from his late–night training and slid into bed beside me, I still hadn’t drifted off.
Maybe it was a warrior’s keen senses, but even in the pitch–dark room, he asked in a low voice, “You’re still awake?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, feigning sleep, and didn’t answer.
He was silent for a moment.
“Did you catch a chill today?” he asked again. “Are you not feeling well?”
I continued to play dead.
He let out a soft sigh.
199
Just when I thought my ruse had worked, he rolled over, his arm expertly sliding under my neck, and pulled me into his embrace.
I had always been a cold–natured person due to my poor health in my youth. No matter how many blankets I used, I was always chilled. Marcus’s body was a furnace, a giant human hot–water bottle. He smelled faintly of the soap he’d just used, the same scent as mine, so I didn’t resist his embrace. In fact, it felt… comfortable, almost familiar.
The warmth sparked a flicker of reluctance in me, but I quickly extinguished it. Other men are probably just as warm and smell just as good, I told myself. Why hang myself on this one crooked tree?
I was leaving. I shouldn’t be coveting his body anymore.
But then again… I wondered if other men had an eight–pack. I wondered if other men’s arms
My mind wandered, and soon, drowsiness washed over me. I fell into a deep sleep.
I slept soundly and woke, as usual, when the sun was high in the sky.
were as strong as his…
After I woke, I pocketed a few banknotes and several heavy gold ingots, along with a small bag of gold nuggets shaped like melon seeds. Under the pretense of going shopping, I went to find Autumn, the owner of a local dressmaking shop.
When we were alone, I pressed all the gold into her hands.
She understood immediately, her eyes turning red. “Ivy… are you really… leaving?”
Autumn had been a fellow servant with me in the palace gardens. When Selena had rescued me, I hadn’t forgotten Autumn. I’d asked Selena to arrange for her release from the palace and had given her a large sum of money to start her own shop.
Chapter 1
13.16
Not long after marrying Marcus, I had discovered his… issue. That, combined with other factors, had led me to start planning my escape long ago. I’d had everything arranged for months, just waiting for the day I was finally ready to go.
“Yes,” I nodded, pressing a few large banknotes into her hand. “Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be passing by the Eternal River…”
“After this, we probably won’t see each other again… take this money, for yourself…”
Tears streamed down her face. “Why so sudden? It’s been half a year. I thought… I thought you weren’t going to leave.”
I gently wiped her tears, wanting to comfort her but not knowing what to say. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, I’d end up crying with her, and the servants outside would notice.
It wasn’t sudden. It was the culmination of a heart that had finally died.
That night, I had insomnia again.
When Marcus came back late and lay down beside me, he asked in surprise, “You’re still awake?”
He must have night vision, I thought. How else would he know?
He pulled me into his arms, just like the night before.
Feeling the warmth of his body and the hard muscle beneath his thin nightshirt, my mind started to wander.
I was leaving tomorrow. Finding another man with an eight–pack in this era wouldn’t be easy. I mustered my courage and reached out, my hand tentatively touching his abdomen.
Just a few more touches, I told myself. I won’t get another chance.
