He looked at me with profound sadness. “Rhea, I was so scared. I couldn’t imagine how I would live if you disappeared right in front of my eyes. So, even now, the thing I’m most grateful for is that I saved you.”
had
“But, the moment I lost consciousness, I started to feel a different kind of fear. I wondered if my insistence on being with you put you in danger. Maybe that’s why, when I woke up, all I remembered was that choosing Faye was safe, and choosing you was
dangerous.”
He was saying all this, I knew, as a kind of apology for the humiliation I had suffered in my last life. But my heart was still. I just
looked into his eyes, searching.
“So, you knew all along that Faye was the one who tried to kill me?”
Evan faltered. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just turned his head away.
“You knew Faye was the culprit. But you destroyed her family’s company, ruined your own, and still, all she got was a few slaps. You
couldn’t bring yourself to send her to prison.”
‘Since this was all just a lover’s quarrel between you two, and I was just an innocent bystander, then you saving my life convenient-
And the heavy truck she used was registered to the same owner as the one from the first accident.
When I rushed back, the police told me they suspected the first crash wasn’t an accident, but a deliberate act. Faye was taken into custody.
When I walked into Evan’s hospital room, he was awake. He was leaning against the headboard, watching me quietly. The panic was gone from his eyes. So was the obsession. He just looked at me, as if seeing an old friend after a long time.
I knew. He was back, too.
Two lifetimes of entanglement seemed to be heading toward a conclusion. The proper goodbye we had both been so fixated on- now seemed like the right time. With the humiliation of my past life, I could finally say to him, “You saved my life, I saved yours. We re even.”
pained smile touched Evan’s lips. “So, you were back a long time ago, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” I said. “When the doctors were repairing the tendons in my hands after the accident, I came back.”
He looked at me, his gaze deep. “…So, this time, you chose not to have me.” His eyes reddened again. “But this time is different.. Rhea, this time I remembered sooner. I went through so much acupuncture. I finally remembered that you were the one I love.”
I watched him, my face a mask of indifference.
Evan looked away, abashed, hiding his emotional outburst. After a moment, he said, “Rhea, after two lifetimes, there’s something need to explain.”
“Faye was the one who hired the truck driver. She was on the phone with me right before the crash. I had rejected her marriage proposal again, and she lost it. She told me I wouldn’t regret it, and then I saw that truck heading straight for you.”
He looked at me with profound sadness. “Rhea, I was so scared. I couldn’t imagine how I would live if you disappeared right in front: of my eyes. So, even now, the thing I’m most grateful for is that I saved you.”
“But, the moment I lost consciousness, I started to feel a different kind of fear. I wondered if my insistence on being with you had put you in danger. Maybe that’s why, when I woke up, all I remembered was that choosing Faye was safe, and choosing you was dangerous.”
He was saying all this, I knew, as a kind of apology for the humiliation I had suffered in my last life. But my heart was still. I just looked into his eyes, searching.
“So, you knew all along that Faye was the one who tried to kill me?”
Evan faltered. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just turned his head away.
“You knew Faye was the culprit. But you destroyed her family’s company, ruined your own, and still, all she got was a few slaps. You
couldn’t bring yourself to send her to prison.”
“Since this was all just a lover’s quarrel between you two, and I was just an innocent bystander, then you saving my life convenient
ly keeps Faye from a murder charge. So, Evan, from now on, I don’t owe you anything.”
I enunciated each word. Evan’s hand clenched into a fist. He looked at me, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
I stood up. “I think I’ve made myself perfectly clear today. So, Evan, this is where we end. We will have nothing to do with each other
from now on.”
His chest rose and fell dramatically. His throat worked for a long moment before he could speak. “…If that’s what you want, then I‘
grant you your wish.”
Tricked up my bag and walked out of the room without looking back. I had no idea that behind me, Evan had slumped forward,
My heart pounded as I stood at his window. I pulled back the blinds, and my eyes fell on my old apartment window across the way. On the windowsill, there was still a pot of blooming orchids.
Miles wrapped his arms around me from behind, his hot breath on my ear. He had taken off his gold–rimmed glasses, and I saw the other side of his gentle, scholarly facade.
He kissed me, with a reverence that was also possessive. “If it were me in that car crash,” he murmured, “I would rather have died than forget you.”
I fled that day, a deep sense of panic rising in me, the feeling of having been expertly maneuvered for a long time. And downstairs, I ran into Evan.
He was leaning against a wall, smoking, one cigarette after another. From his vantage point, he had a perfect view of Miles’s wind-
- OW.
J
“Rhea,” he said, “you were right not to forgive me.”
“I’m a f*cking animal. How could I have ever hurt you like that?” I knew he was talking about kissing Faye in front of me.
He glanced up at the window, then pointed to his own chest. “Right here,” he said, his voice cracking, “it hurts so much I think I’m going to die.”
I looked up at the window, too. Miles had put his glasses back on. He looked at me and smiled, the picture of harmless civility.
My mind was a tangled mess. I didn’t register what Evan was saying, or that he was crying. I just turned and hurried away.
18
My life returned to normal. The day my fingers were finally healed enough to hold a needle again, I received a letter from Evan.
He was leaving. He had sold the company he built from scratch, severed ties with his parents, and left with nothing but his money and a motorcycle.
Just like I had once dreamed. He had asked me once, “Rhea, if we ever achieve financial freedom, what’s the first thing you want to do?”
I had thought for a moment and said, “I want to ride a motorcycle and just… go. See the country, bring resources to remote areas, help people who need it.
“We’ll do it,” he had promised.
ེ་ཤྰ ྃ་ཟེེ॰་ ༤ ཎྜ ཎྜ་ཝེ་ ཅ ཆ ཇ ཝ་༤་
Evan wrote a lot in his letter. But some parts, he had written and then torn up.
On the torn scraps of paper, I could still read the words.
Rhea, would you believe me? In our last life, when I said ‘let this mistake be,‘ I hadn’t fully remembered you.
Rhea, I had just had someone investigate the truth. I hadn’t recovered my memories. The me who remembered could never have
said such a hurtful thing to you.
Rhea, you’ll never know. In our last life, I died in the winter I regained my memory.
On the day of your funeral, I suddenly became clear. I took your ashes and drove my car into a bridge support.
As for Faye, how could I have let her go? The evidence from the first crash was destroyed. If I didn’t put myself at risk one more
time, how could I have sent her to prison?
Rhea, you’ll never know. In our last life, I died in the winter I regained my memory.
On the day of your funeral, I suddenly became clear. I took your ashes and drove my car into a bridge support.
As for Faye, how could I have let her go? The evidence from the first crash was destroyed. If I didn’t put myself at risk one more time, how could I have sent her to prison?
But Rhea, I hope you never know any of this.
The pain you suffered in our last life must be repaid in this one. Even though the one to bring you happiness won’t be me, just kno- wing you are alive and well in this world is enough for me.
Evan lit a match and burned these pages, one by one. As the flames consumed them, the past turned to ash. The motorcycle roar- ed to life, and Evan was never heard from again.
19
I placed Evan’s letter in a prominent place.
When Miles came to see me, he once again removed his gold–rimmed glasses. It wasn’t the first time I had seen his obsessive possessiveness and his deep, calculating nature. The apartment across from Evan’s. Offering himself to Dr. Adler to treat both of us, The dinner for two on the same night as Evan’s engagement party.
So when he kissed me with that same ferocity again, I slowly pushed him away.
My story with Evan was well and truly over.
But my dance with Miles, it seemed, was just beginning.
