Chapter 7: If I can’t have you…
*Jane*
I managed to pull myself up on my elbows. I brought my blanket up. “Why are you here?”
“The door was unlocked.” He moved closer even as I inched away from him. “I just wanted to be with my Luna.” He was stroking my hair now, running his fingers through it and letting it fall to my face. His touch was familiar, too familiar. I tried to shake off the feeling of deja vu, but it wouldn’t go away. ‘I don’t want us to fight any more, Janet. It was all just a little misunderstanding.”
I stared at him, still struggling in my head to accept that he was here now, in my bed, in the middle of the night. “What are you talking about? Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend?”
It almost a full moon and my wolf was desperate to reclaim what was hers even though I recoiled at the smell of Mia’s perfume
clinging to him.
Before I could process his presence fully, Xander leaned forward, closing the distance between us. His lips found mine with surprising accuracy given his less than sober state.
“Xander-“I muttered, “Stop it” My wolf whined in protest as I
pulled away, but I ignored her. I pressed my
chest and pushed him away.
Xander didn’t listen to me. He traced my bottom lip with his
thumb and as he pressed himself against me, I could feel his erection. “Is this not what you want? For me to be inside you again?”
Heat flashed through me. I was furious. Did he think this was what I wanted? After all the humiliation and betrayal I’d endured, he thought he could just stumble in here drunk and
claim me?
But before I could voice my outrage, Xander moved with his Alpha speed. One moment I was propped up and the next, he had me pressed into the mattress. He pinned my wrists above my head, holding me down with an iron grip.
“Your heart is racing, Jane,” he murmured as he dipped his head
to run his nose along the column of my throat. “Your body
remembers me.”
He was right, damn him. My traitorous wolf recognized her Alpha. Xander knew that, and that was why he employed this tactic. I should push him away. I should scream. I should remind
him of Mia.
Instead, when his free hand slipped beneath my pajama top,
Chapter 7: I can’t have you…
when his fingers possessively caressed my ribs, I arched into his
touch. And when he tugged the fabric of my top upward, I
couldn’t resist any longer.
I pulled him closer. My claws extended and I dug them into his
back. I tore through his shirt, making sure to leave a mark. He
was mine. Just as I reached down to unbuckle his belt, Xander
pulled back. I blinked in confusion.
“What?”
“If you want to continue,” he began. His voice sounded clearer
than it had only moments ago. A knot began to form in my
stomach. “You need to drop this whole boyfriend nonsense.”
It felt like someone had dumped a full bucket of ice water over my head. I felt sick to my stomach. Xander had played me… again. He had manipulated me. Again.
“Get off me!” I growled. I shoved him with enough force that he had to catch himself on the edge of the bed.
I could feel my hands shaking. Why? I heard my wolf ask. But I didn’t have an answer for her. I snatched my pajama top from where he’d tossed it and yanked it back over my head. “So you come into my room, drunk, kiss me, I’d just forget everything?”
Xander straightened and flexed his shoulders. “You’re my wife,
Chapter 7 If I can’t have you.
Jane. My mate. My Luna. You don’t need anyone else.”
“But you need Mia?”
“What I have with Mia is different…”
“Don’t you dare try to explain your double standard to me. You
think you can just waltz in here and claim me?”
“I’m reminding you who you belong to.”
Damn this man. “I don’t belong to anyone. Especially not you.”
Xander’s eyes narrowed. “Jane!”
I raised a hand. “No. You do not get to tell me what to do. You lost that right when you chose Mia over me.”
Xander didn’t like what I was saying. I could tell by the way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. “That doesn’t change anything.”
“Oh, it doesn’t? Or you just don’t want it to change since someone else actually sees me?”
He stepped forward and leaned down. “Keep talking about your boyfriend, and I’ll start a war you can’t win.” His lips were mere inches on mine, but any spell he had cast over me had completely expired.
Chapter 7: If I can’t have you
“Go ahead and start it. Let’s see who wins.” I turned my back on
him, forcing my wolf to settle back down. “Get out of my room.
Now.”
He didn’t move at first. I could hear him breathing, and I could
smell the anger on him. Finally, I heard his heavy footsteps
moving toward the door. “This isn’t over.” And then the door
slammed shut behind him.
2008
I lunged for the door, twisting the lock quickly before he would change his mind and walk back in. I stood with my back against the door, breathing heavily. I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking.
I slid down the wall as my knees buckled beneath me. I curled into myself as if I could physically console my breaking heart. I didn’t want to cry… I’d vowed not to cry over Xander. But as the first tear fell down my cheek, and then the second, I lost control.
I don’t know how long I laid there, my tears soaking into the carpet. It felt like forever. Fuck. It’s okay, my wolf said, trying to console me. But it wasn’t. It was far from okay.
I wiped the tears off my face and stared at the ceiling. I didn’t understand how the man I’d once loved so deeply had slowly become a stranger.
I couldn’t be weak any longer. The events of the day had taught
Chapter 7. If I can’t have you…
me that my husband underestimated me and believed I had to do
whatever he said. I can’t let him control my life.
I got up from the ground. I won’t let him get away with that. I
won’t let him win again. I reached for my phone and began
scrolling until I found Aaron’s number. My finger hovered over
his name, my thumb hovering over the call button for a sceond.
I took a deep breath and pressed dial.
One ring. Two. Three.
“Jane?”
