Chapter 10%
Fredric knew deep down if it wasn’t that he didn’t care about me.”
He just always assumed I would never leave.X
Everyone in the Gilbert Family knew I loved him. Since we were kids,I was like his shadow,always tagging along.He got used to this unconditional love and took it for granted thinking it would last forever!
He closed his eyes and the memories came crashing back like a tidal wave.
We were childhood sweethearts since he was seven and I was only five.
Fredric was always quiet and reserved. He even barely spoke. But I was always at his heels,chattering away.
“Fredric,I picked this flower for you. Isn’t it pretty?”
He’d frown,annoyed by my chatter, Stop following me,kid,”
But no matter how many times he pushed me away,I’d show up the next day with the same silly grin.8
When he played basketball, sweating under the summer sun’d wait by the court with a water bottle,my eyes gleaming brighter than midsummer.
Those were the shadows of youth.”
At sixteen,I wrote him a love letter, but he never finished reading it.
[Fredric,I want to be with you forever..]
He thought I was being ridiculous.So,he just answered [You’re still a kid.Don’t talk nonsense.]
I just smiled_eyes red and said nothing when I read it.
One time,Fredric had a high fever–over 40 degrees. His parents were out of town. I biked through the rain to get him medicine and stayed by his side all night.”
He woke to find me asleep at his bedside,still clutching his hand.
Something in him stirred that night something he didn’t want to admit.
He refused to acknowledge his feelings for me,the girl he’d always seen as a little sister.
Instead his attention turned to Deana who was just as lively and passionate as I was.
By the time we married,his heart still carried Deana’s shadow.
His parents pushed the marriage since I was quiet and obedient,the safe choice they only had. They were also sure if I would. never make trouble for both families.8
Backstage at the wedding,I smiled like a fool in my white dress,saying, Fredric,l finally married you.”
He said nothing. To him,the marriage felt like an obligation.
But that night when he kissed me for the first time! broke down in tears,trembling like a frightened little animal.}
In that moment,his heart wavered.!
but as
He finally saw me not as the clingy girl from childhood,but as his woman.
He grew used to me. For five years, I was the silent presence in his life just like the air he breathed.
I made his breakfast,remembered his every preference.
If he came home late,l waited up.
Every winter, knit him a scarf.Even when he called it ugly,he wore it every time.”
Those little details cut into him now,sharp and relentless.
Fredric had already fallen for me. He just never realized it.
He didn’t know how to express love. He thought giving me a home was enough.
When Deana came back,he panicked.
Man never quite forget his first crush.
But after spending time with her again,he realized the feelings had long faded.
Recently, when Deana pretended to stumble and tried to kiss him,he instinctively pulled away because the first thing that
crossed his mind was me.X
He thought there’d still be time to explain and make it right,so he planned to finally announce it to everyone on our sixth anniversary.Let the world know who his wife was.X
But instead,I left him a letter.
Told him I didn’t love him anymore.X
I left so cleanly didn’t even give him a chance to speak.!!
