Chapter 10%
They led me in, past rows of cold steel drawers, all marked with nameless codes. And then to the table. One of them was already pulled out A white sheet lay over the body Small. So damn small.
Her tag read: Savannah Smith /
My lungs stopped working for a second.)
They looked at me like they were expecting something. I realized my fists were clenched, shaking. I forced them open.
“You want time alone?” one of them asked.
I didn’t answer, Just stared at the covered form. She was right there, inches from me, and I couldn’t fucking do it. I couldn’t lift the sheet Couldn’t see her like that. Not after what I’d done. Not after making her kneel in the goddamn rain while she was pregnant. With my kid With our kid
I just nodded once, stiffly. My throat bumed like fire.
The younger doctor handed me a clipboard. “Cremation release forms after donation. If you’re sure.”
I took it. My signature was barely legible. My hand wouldn’t stop trembling Blood still crusted around the cuts from when I’d wrecked her room. Didn’t even try to clean up.X
They left me alone for a minute. I just stood there. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t pray. Didn’t cry. I just… existed. A hollow man in a cold room full of death.
The doctors returned, carefully holding a sealed black um. Plain, heavy, engraved with her name in gold.
Savannah Smith
I took it with both hands. Like it was her body. Like I was carrying the last piece of her I had left. I didn’t look them in the eye as I walked out. I didn’t speak a word. Didn’t even breathe right.
I went straight home. Didn’t stop for anything
The penthouse was dim. Gray skies leaking light through the windows. Zoraya wasn’t there. Good. I would’ve fucking snapped if she tried to speak.
I walked into Savannah’s room.
Our room, really.
Still smelled like her
I set the urn gently on her nightstand Lit every candle I could find. Took the ones from the dining table. From the bar. Even the emergency ones. Lined them up around her ashes like a shrine. Like a grave.
I sat on the floor. Back against her bed. Hands wrapped around the urn like it was alive. And I broke again…
Just whispered over and over.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you needed. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you were in pain.
I’m sorry for letting her take your place. For not choosing you every time. For hitting you… For ignoring you. I’m sorry I’ll never get to see our baby’s face. My voice cracked. My chest caved in.
“I’ll never stop saying it, Savannah. Even if it’s the last thing I say on this earth. I’ll never stop.“2
I leaned my head against the nightstand. Closed my eyes. My hands still on that cold fucking urn.}
I don’t remember when I fell asleep.
All I know is, I didn’t dream.8
Because ghosts don’t visit the damned,
–
ZORAYA’S POV!
The dead girl still owned him, Even now, days after they handed him that stupid little um, even after he put candles all around it like it was a damn altar–Zeus still hadn’t looked at me. Not really!!
I tried everything. Wore his black silk shirt with no bra underneath, the one
that
clings to my hips like a lover’s hand. I cooked him pasta the way he liked it–extra spice, a touch of vodka in the sauce, just like that ghost used to do. I even played the good girl, touched his shoulder when he passed me, gently Submissive, Soft Exactly the way men like him think they want their women.”
He didn’t flinch. But he didn’t touch me back either. Didn’t even blink. Like I wasn’t there. Like I was just noise.
I watched him from the kitchen doorway that night, sitting on the goddamn floor in that dead girl’s room. Talking to her urn like she’d answer. “You’re pathetic,” I mullered under my breath.
I gave him everything. I gave him my body, my loyalty, a fucking child growing inside of me
But Savannah? Savannah gave him silence. And sadness. And a disease that killed her. Yet he cries for her?
No. I wasn’t going to be second place to a corpse!!
So I turned up the heat.
I waited until he passed me again the next moming, shirtless, his knuckles still bleeding from hitting the damn wall, I leaned in, brushed against his chest, whispered, “You know. I need you too, Lambert.”
He free for half a send. Then walked right past midn’t won’t look Didn’t even heath in my direction
He froze for half a second. Then walked right past me. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t look. Didn’t even breathe in my direction.
That was the moment I snapped.
get rid of it. You don’t care anyway, right? You want her back? Fine. I’ll kill this
“You know what?” I yelled after him. “Maybe I should just get i damn thing in me and set you free!”
He spun so fast I thought he’d hit me. His eyes were bloodshot. His chest heaving. And then he shouted so loud it cracked the room
“Then do it! Kill it! Just like I killed her
I went still. Oh, Lambert. You’re unraveling exactly how I planned. I ran, Slammed the door. Let it all go quiet. Then I smirked to myself.
Time to make him bleed for her some more.
I waited until the sun dipped, Until the house got that soft silence again. Then I went into the bathroom. Pulled out the vial of fake blood! got from the set crew in Milan, from that film I did years ago. They still owed me favors.8
I poured it down my thighs, splattered it on the tiles. Screamed like my womb had burst open. Collapsed just right near the edge of the tub, eyes fluttering.
“H–help!” I screamed, just once. Loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough for the neighbors. “It’s the baby!“?
1/2
4.55 AU
