02
When I woke the next day, Damien, contrary to his usual habit, had not left.
He had summoned two maids. One held a steaming bowl of a foul–smelling tonic.
“Elara, that child… it was an accident.”
“You should understand. You are not worthy of bearing a child of House Vaughn.”
Damien was right. I wasn’t worthy..
My father was the man who had framed his, leading to the unjust deaths of one hundred and eight innocent people.
If Damien hadn’t been blind drunk seven months ago, on the anniversary of his family’s execution, I never would have conceived.
But that night, cradled in his arms, he had suddenly begun to weep.
“When they purged my House, my little brother was only three. They dragged him to the execution block… and his head rolled in the dirt.”
“My sister…. she was three days from marrying the man she loved.”
“But because of your father’s lies, she was defiled by the guards in her cell. She took her own life in despair.”
“If I hadn’t been fostered at the Abbey as a boy, I would have died with them.”
“And my family would have been cursed by the people for generations, branded as traitors for a hundred, a thousand years to come.”
“Elara, shouldn’t I hate you?”
“But, Elara… what am I supposed to do?”
I knew in my heart that Damien was just like me. He loved, and he hated.
The bond between us was a knot that could never be untied, only severed.
1 lowered my eyes, took the bowl with both hands, and drank the barren–womb draught in one gulp.
A single, wrapped candy fell onto the bedsheets beside me. It was from the confectioner on the East Gate, my favorite.
Damien used to buy them for me all the time.
Even if it meant waiting in line for hours.
clutched the candy, a sudden, sharp ache in my chest.
He always did this. Just when my heart had turned to ash, he would casually light a small lamp.
Then blow it out. Then light it again. And blow it out again.
Then blow it out. Then light it again. And blow it out again.
Over and over, making my life a torment.
Making death an escape I couldn’t quite reach.
My hand, hidden in my sleeve, clenched into a fist. I wanted to say something, but when I looked up, all I saw was his retreating back.
The two maids whispered to each other.
“The daughter of an enemy. I can’t imagine why the Lord Regent keeps her here.”
“If it were me, I’d have had her flayed and quartered long ago. Instead, he feeds her, clothes her, lets her play the lady of the manor!”
They made no attempt to hide their scom. The words were meant for me.
After they left, the vast room was empty again, except for me and the child’s tablet on the table.
For the next few days, I didn’t see Damien.
The servants whispered that Lady Liana had caught a chill, that her head was splitting with pain.
Damien stayed by her side the entire time, caring for her diligently.
On the final day of my five–year promise, the estate’s steward pushed open my door.
“The Lady Liana wishes to plant a winter rose garden. She has commanded that you are to go and turn over all the soil in the back garden.”
My head snapped up.
The back garden.
That’s where I buried my child’s body.
