My heart had aged beyond its years, no longer capable of stirring.
Moreover, Lucas wouldn’t remain without his memories forever.
He says he loves me because he’s forgotten these three years.
What if he remembers?
Where would I go then?
I shook my head,
Let flowers be flowers, let trees be trees. Give others back to themselves, and give myself back to myself.
Look forward to flowers blooming, look forward to becoming a better version of myself!
That’s all.
Lucas didn’t leave that night. He stubbornly insisted on staying to take care of me.
He said I had just had an abortion and needed care.
I didn’t stop him.
Let him be.
Anyway, the outcome was already set.
Nothing could change it now.
There wasn’t actually a bed for him to sleep in here.
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He probably knew he wasn’t welcome.
So he volunteered to sleep in the living room.
My
When I got up for water at night, I saw him watching a projection in the living room.
He hadn’t turned on the lights and had muted the sound.
The images were flickering, projected onto his face.
He looked focused and serious.
I moved closer.
He was watching our wedding video.
The projection was large, showing the moment we exchanged vows.
I had jokingly whispered in his ear that if he ever betrayed me, I’d castrate him.
He had laughed heartily.
Then he solemnly promised that he would love only me forever.
Otherwise, he’d never have children.
Thinking about it now, it was like a self–fulfilling prophecy.
الله الله الله
Except his childlessness came through me.
Our child was gone.
He closed his eyes painfully, hugging his head tightly.
“How did it come to this?”
“I loved you so much!”
“How did we end up like this?”
“Our child is gone.”
“You all say I fell in love with chi
“What exactly did I do in these three years?
I didn’t know if he was asking me or himself.
I just stood by and watched.
I could only look on coldly at his pain.
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The beautiful memories we once shared had been worn away to nothing over these three years.
Lucas wanted to stay at my place indefinitely. I tried to persuade him to leave, but he kept shaking his head.
He said he had wronged me these past three years and now wanted to make it up to me.
He said even if his memory returned, he wouldn’t change his heart.
I shook my head. What’s lost is lost.
“Olivia, I truly love you. Can you give me one more chance? I promise, I’ll only love you for the rest of my life!” Lucas put the chicken soup in front of me, his face full of love and devotion.
I shook my head and simply replied with two words: “I can’t.”
The light in Lucas’s eyes dimmed again.
That night, he received another call from Chloe. Her depression had flared up, and she was suicidal again.
“Olivia, I’m sorry, Chloe’s depression is acting up… I need to go check on her.”
“Please be understanding, okay? I’ll be back very soon today!”
“Don’t overthink it. I don’t love her anymore, now or in the future. You’re the only one in my heart.”
Lucas was very concerned about what I might think, but I didn’t care at all about his melodramatic love story with Chloe.
“Mm, go ahead.”
Lucas’s second surgery was three months later, after Chloe had begged him repeatedly to have the operation.
In college, I had read many cliché stories about memory loss in romance novels.
The male or female lead would always regain their memory after experiencing some kind of shock.
But for Lucas, it was simply a matter of surgically removing the blood clot pressing on his brain.
Before the surgery, he had asked for my opinion. “Olivia, I don’t want to have this surgery.”
I looked at him calmly. “There are many things you should remember. Memory loss isn’t an excuse for you to escape reality. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t, and neither has Chloe. All the paths you’ve taken were your own choices. You need to take responsibility for your
actions.”
“I really do love you, Olivia. You have to believe me.”
“I do.”
