Book 2 Chapter12
Book2 Chapter13
We Get What We Deserve
Guilt pours off of him as if it were sweat,
“I did it on purpose. I thought you would just give up. I was wrong.” It’s just Cash and me in the clinic room. He asked if he could speak. to me alone. His parents walked out, not very pleased with their third born.
He’s sitting there in the orange plastic chair with his elbows on his thighs, hands gripped together, looking down at the floor.
“I’m sorry, Rya.” His eyes lock with mine, no more menace left in them. “It was easier to blame you than her. I just couldn’t believe- Unclasping his hands, he presses the palms into his eyes, as if trying to stop the tap that wants to open up.
“Everything she’s said about me has come true. I’m a weak wolf. I knew exactly what I was doing. I let my family down, you down, and myself down. I acted without honor. “This savagely beautiful wolf is giving me a hard look at how horrible he feels in every way.
Love twists your soul, spiraling you into something different, something you thought you would never become.
“How old were you when you found out he was your mate?” “I was sixteen.”
“How long
e was it after you
shifted?”
“I shifted that day, early in the morning. It was awful, but my family was there to support me.”
“What happened to you?”
“I saw him. He was with her. It’s as if they expected this. They stood shoulder to shoulder as I approached, and honestly, I thought I had a chance. The thing is my chance was gone before it ever began. I know that now. I wish I would have known this at the time. I think I would have done things differently. I would have been prepared, but I never was prepared to handle the rejection. I was on the A side of life back then, before him, before them. I was happy, and I think more than anything, looking back right now in this moment I did give up. I gave up on me. Not him, I just rolled over and gave up on me. I’m my biggest supporter, and I failed myself.” It’s as if a lightbulb just turned on in my mind,
It’s funny how if you talk about certain traumas in your life enough, it somehow gets just a little easier to come to grips with what was done. It’s hard, but it’s part of my history, like my own personal cookbook that makes me who I am. My past recipes, some good, some sour, some terrible, some burned and charred. My future recipes are still being written on the blank white pages; hopefully, they will be
robust and full of a life I think I deserve.
“I didn’t get that chance, so I turned on Kennedy. She was my easiest target, just like I am to you. I kicked her ass that day. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, regardless of my fighting skills, I was the stronger wolf back then.” It’s true back then I was stronger than
ber.
*I was punished for going after her, then I became a ghost. I was really never there anymore. I checked out. No one cared, and I hate to say this, but neither didil Istopped believing in myself. When I came back to the pack after my training, it was your brother that helped me. He saw something in me that I still don’t see in myself. He saw a life that just needed a chance to breathe again.” Cash’s emotions are twisting and knotting around inside him. He nods his head, as if he understands what I am telling him.
“I was the one who found Dallas. He was almost dead. He could hardly even speak anymore. He couldn’t move. I made a tourniquet for his arm, screaming the whole time for help, but we were all alone in that house we built for them and their future. Do you know what that did to me, sering him like that?I have nightmares still to this day. I called my father. I had to wait for help. He looked into my eyes, told me he loved me, asked me if I loved him.” Cash’s voice breaks with hard emotions that he’s trying to stop from seeping out.
“Of course I said yes. I was holding his head in my lap. He just looked at me, and with his soul, he asked me to untie his arm. He begged me and begged me until he passed out. Now I can’t stop the tears from coming down, that burn coming up from the pit of my stomach trest corrosively at the back of my throat.
“When he healed, he never came back the same. We referred to him as the ghost because he was around but not really there. So when you said you felt that way, I saw him be that way.” I nod my head in agreement. I understand the feeling very well.
“He went away soon after. My parents pulled some strings, got him into a good university as soon as he told them what he wanted to do. After he left, he has only been home twice. We always went to him. It was just better that way. No pressure on him, no expectations put on his shoulders. He always promised he would come back. He just couldn’t say when.” Cash has a faraway look in eyes that can’t keep the tears away,
busk2 Chapter)
“I was there when he called my dad saying he met someone, that he was thinking of letting his hair grow out again. There are only two times that my father has actually cried in front of us, and that was one of them.” His truths are tumbling out his mouth as I feel slightly nauseated with all these feelings that are being caught and swallowed down my throat.
59.715
