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Chapter 10
288 Vouchers
When I got home, I saw a message from Austin.
“How come you’re with Evan… Are you two…?”
I replied, “There’s nothing going on between us.”
The screen showed he was typing for a long time.
After a while, he just called me directly.
“I’ve been thinking a lot,” he said quietly.
“Honestly, I wanted to tell you… With Ruth, after all these years, maybe it was just an obsession…”
I cut him off.
“Check your messages. I just sent you some money.”
He went silent.
I continued. “I’ve kept track of every penny you’ve spent on me over the years. I’ll pay you back, little by little. I owe you, and I’ll never forget that. But from now on, that’s all we are–benefactor and recipient. As for your feelings, your life, I won’t get involved anymore.”
Austin exhaled sharply.
“I never meant to cut you out of my life.”
“But I do.”
Evan was right. I’d been going about things all wrong, hurting both myself and others in the process.
“What if I said I liked you? That I want to be with you, to pursue you?”
I froze, lost in a long silence.
Finally, I asked, “Does love that comes this late even count as love?”
Before he could answer, I hung up.
For a long time after that, gifts from Austin kept arriving, just like when he’d begged me to chase after Evan.
But this time, I felt nothing at all.
I sold the house Austin had given me, and let the car go at a loss.
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06:05
Chapter 10
288 Vouchers
With my savings from the past two years, I had a lawyer draft a repayment agreement, then mailed it to Austin.
He called me. “Does it have to be this way?”
“Yes,” I said.
He laughed coldly, his voice heavy. “Is it because of Evan? You want to be with him?”
He sounded frustrated, lighting a cigarette. His tone turned almost mocking.
“It’s simple, really. You’re practically my sister–in–law now, so why bother worrying about money?”
I sighed.
“Austin, do you remember the very first thing you ever said to me?”
He’d told me he’d pay for my schooling, buy me food and clothes, make sure I’d never want for anything–and then, he asked me to love him.
He thought for a while, then guessed cautiously, “Wasn’t it just asking your name?”
I laughed, though there was a bitter ache in my chest.
All these years, it turned out I was the only one who’d etched those words into my bones, never daring to forget.
I repeated those words to him, then said, “I did everything you asked me to do. But now, I’m ready to give it all back. I don’t want your so–called ‘endless money‘ anymore. I think I can finally stop loving you, right?
“And from now on, whatever I do, whoever I’m with–it’s none of your business.”
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