Love Hurts
My nose is above water, my lips below. The arm that’s injured is on my stomach as my other arm is buoyant, floating beside me. The water’s warmth surrounds me, while his cold, broken soul freezes my insides. Arctic waves of iced fury rock my foundation. It’s a burning cold pain, dry ice steaming and
smoking.
He’s scorching and searing me with his anger.
What have I done?
The water only moves with my intake of breath, little waves hitting the side of the white porcelain walls. A hammer in my gut strikes hard. It’s almost as if I can see the flash of steel on metal. I groan to myself. It echoes in this closed–up little room. I can only sense the most powerful emotions from him, but they are thundering loudly. I can’t protect myself from their rumbling.
Our canvas is starting off now with the ugly colors, painted by me. Always I have the worst to offer.
My body rises slightly in the water as I inhale and sinks slowly down with the exhale. My arm hurts so bad that even with his ice hatred of me at the moment, my wound is overwhelming me. The water is the color of diluted cherry Kool–Aid. The wound still bleeds slightly. I don’t care. Let me bleed.
Blackened ice is replaced now with grief’s pain, its ivy circling around my spine, climbing up to my neck, constricting me tight. He can’t breathe.
I’m not sure what hurts more: the complete hatred or the bottomless grief he’s going through. I think I choose hatred; I can deal with that much better than his grief. It’s as if he had the last photo of her face and I just destroyed it. Never will he have that picture again.
What have I done?
Love only hurts. The only love that I have known causes the worst kind of pain and destruction.
Sinking into the warmth, I just want to stay here.
He won’t block himself from me. There’s no bricked–up bitter room that he’s hiding behind. He’s letting me feel all of this.
e
Getting up, I sway with the pain. Good, let it sway me. I deserve this. I’m the lowest of the low, marking someone when I have a mate.
What have I done?
Why?I want to scream at the mirror. Instead, I whisper it—why?
The wolf is not understanding. She only feels bad for me. Not for what she has done. If given the opportunity, she’d do the same thing again.
over and
over
Drying off, I put on my robe so I can get to my wound easier. I put a towel there to soak up the blood still dribbling out.
A knock on the door has me taking little quiet breaths. A harder bang comes next, followed by a bigger bang.
“Iknow you’re in there. I followed the trail of blood.” Ithink it’s Cash behind the locked door.
“We can do this very easy–you open this door up–or we can do this the hard way. I just come in.” Before I even answer him, a hard crash creaks the foundations of the home.
“I’m coming!” I scream back. I leave the bathroom quickly before he decides to let himself in.
Opening it up, he looks around my small place. I hold my arm against my chest with my other hand. He takes a seat at my table, as if I just invited him in for a cup of tea.
“He sent me over to make sure you’re okay. Let’s see it.” He motions with his finger to come to him. He stays sitting on the chair.
“No.”
Well, it’s obvious he doesn’t like that answer by the hard line that furrows his brows.
“We can do this easy or hard. Your choice. I either see that injury or I make you show me that injury. I don’t have the time for this or the patience.” He’s not the same wolf I met for dinner at his brother’s house.”
This wolf is angry, mad, and raging.
Just a second hesitation on my part is all that’s needed for him to be up and on me. He pulls down my robe to expose the sliced tendon. It’s a deep wound, meant to immobilize, not kill. His fingerspoke around while I sway with blood rushing in my ears. My vision darkens slightly. He has to hold me up as I cry out in pain, my legs giving out underneath me. He supports my weight, sitting me down on the chair.
“I might get sick.” I can’t move, so he hands me a cup that’s on the table. He just stares at me with eyes that aren’t seeing me. He must be mind- linking
with his brother.
“He says you should be fine. You need to rest and not move around too much. Don’t come to work until Thursday. He’ll have Aurora reschedule all your appointments.”
Book Chapter46
23.16
