I’ve really started to enjoy being at the Nightshade Pack. The atmosphere here is welcoming, and the people have been kind.
Still, there’s an underlying tension everyone feels. War does
that to you–it touches everything and everyone, whether you
want it to or not.
“You’re so much like your grandmother.” People would often
say that to me. The bonds here run deep, like family. It was
noon, and we were all relaxing under the shade near the pack
house.
“Tell me about her.” I was curious to learn more about my
mom’s side of the family, and I loved hearing stories about
them.
“Your grandmother was just as beautiful as you, inside and out.
But her greatest strength–and her biggest flaw–was her heart.”
I couldn’t help but pause. I often thought my heart was my
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weakness too, so I was listening closely.
“She wore her emotions on her sleeve. She trusted everyone,
loved with all of her. People sometimes saw that as a weakness,
but it was her sensitivity that made her such a remarkable
Luna.”
The way they–spoke of my grandmother, of my mom, made it
clear how much respect they had for them both. They were
practically legends in this pack.
“Does it bother you, living with something so dangerous?” I
asked them. The pressure of guarding something so precious
seemed like it would be overwhelming, but they all appeared
calm, like they had it under control.
“It’s our responsibility to protect it,” Harry, Grandma Lana’s
mate, explained. “But knowing it could be destroyed? That’s
what bothers us.”
I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty about wanting to destroy
the flower. We didn’t know the depth of its significance to
them, and we were strangers to this place. If I’d understood how
much it meant, I would have made a different choice. But now,
if asked again, I’d do what was right.
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“Do you need anything to eat?” my mom walked over and
asked me. She had been trying to take care of me ever since we
got here. But honestly, I still didn’t feel that close to her.
“No, I’m fine. But if I want something, I’ll ask Olivia,” I said.
Olivia was in a rough spot. I think being separated from Philip
was hitting her hard, but I wanted her to deal with it on her
own. Everyone could already tell she was pregnant, though we
hadn’t told her yet.
“Don’t be too harsh with your mom,” said Aunt Mellie, her best
friend, sounding concerned.
“I’m not being harsh, I just don’t need anything,” I sighed, feeling
exhausted. Everyone was trying to fix the relationship between
me and my mom, but I felt it was something that had to happen
naturally.
“She cried a lot after leaving you behind. I know you think it
was easy for her, but it wasn’t,” Aunt Mellie continued. “You
wanted to destroy the flower for the greater good, but you
didn’t stop to think about how it affected the people here. A
good leader makes tough choices, even when it hurts.”
People assumed I didn’t understand why my mom left, but that
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wasn’t the issue. Forgiveness isn’t something you can just force.
It comes when you’re ready, and I wasn’t ready yet.
“OK that’s enough. I don’t need anyone’s opinion,” I said, standing up and walking away.
The moment I stepped into my room, someone knocked on the
door. People here didn’t respect personal space, always showing up whenever they felt like it.
“I’m beat. Can you just leave me alone?” I cried to the door, hoping they’d finally respect my wishes.
Not surprisingly, my mom’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“I know you’re tired. I know you don’t want to see me right now, but I’m sorry for the way they spoke to you. I understand you need time. Take all the time you need. I just want you to know that I’m so happy you’re here. Everyone’s excited to see you. They didn’t get to watch you grow up, and neither did I. They’re just as happy as I am to have you here.”
I sighed, finally giving up, “Come on in.”
The door swung open and she stepped inside. I patted the bed next to me, and she sat down.
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“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you,” she said, wiping away a tear. “I know I’ve hurt you, but I gave you up a long time ago. Now, all that’s left are memories. When I think about all the
moments you weren’t there for, it makes me angry. Every time I think about how much I needed you, I feel something… Rejection is hard to move past; but I really appreciate what
you’ve done. I’m lucky to have you as my daughter.”
