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Chapter12
Wilson
NO!
It can’t be happening, Leona would never! I picked those documents up just to make sure this wasn’t one of my nightmares and dropped them right after reading them, it felt like acid on my hands and a burning fire catching straight on my heart.
A rope was tied around my neck and choking me, I was shrinking inside myself. I felt so low, cheap,
horrible and disgusting in front of my parents and sister. I felt so little despite being a tall man. All
the confidence, the pride I achieved and carried all my life were vanishing from my life.
Withholding a sob, I stormed out of the house with my body on fire, revived my engine and drove like a maniac through the streets only stopping at the signs, because I didn’t want to add cops to my already blacklist sins.
I only breathed a little once I reached Leona’s parent’s place, without bothering to park the car I rushed out and started calling her. She didn’t pick up, so I banged on the door, but no one answered the door. So I started screaming my fears out, desperately.
“Leona, Leona,” I shouted painfully, my voice slipping down in depressing whispers after a while. I needed to see her, needed to convince her to give me a chance, I knew forgiving me would be hard.
But I would earn, I would show her whatever happened didn’t mean a single to me. She does, and our daughter does. They’re my everything, my life and my purpose.
“She’s not here young man, and keep your voice down.” Her parent’s neighbour, Mr Walter informed frowning and warning me with a fixated glare, before he marched inside.
I looked around to see another neighbour, an old lady muttering curses while watering her plants, and two ladies walking by giving me odd looks. I just shoved my anxieties up my ass and sat in my car waiting, with my heart out in my palm. I need to talk to her, I need to make sure she knows how deeply fucking sorry I am.
I am ready to beg, to do exactly as she wishes but I only ask for one thing that she comes back to me. I can’t live without her and Wilona, that’s the one non–negotiable thing.
Her parents weren’t around that’s for sure, because when it darkened, the lights didn’t turn on. The fear of losing her was scratching my head and heart.
Hours felt like decades as I waited in my car in vain. I left Leona text after text, voice mails, and called her. But she never picked up, never responded or even bothered seeing my texts. A Text comes through and I jolted into action hoping it was my Wife, but all my hopes got smashed like my life was, all over the place.
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It was from my assistant, reminding me that the conference happening a week later would take place on Tuesday, and I better follow up as I am the CFO. I had taken a leave for ten days and since I never requested one except for the global holidays, so it was granted.
But I had to return on Monday, no matter what. So I drove back home, with watery eyes and chopped will. Reaching our place, I was grateful I didn’t crash anywhere because of the immense pain inside my chest. Everything felt so hollow and dark.
Every person who ever cared about me couldn’t even look me in the eye if they did. It was a disappointment. What have I done? For what? Moment of horrendous pleasure that costs me my life? My everything.
I wish I had told Leo what was going down, I wish I had stopped her, I wished I had pushed her away and run off. It wasn’t just a mistake I made, it’s a never–ending nightmare of sin that I would never forget. I feel so filthy, to an extent even if miraculously Leo forgives me I would never be able to remove this stain from my conscience.
I always thought cheaters were Cowards, and they don’t deserve forgiveness. Funny I was one now, and that was the only thing I was hoping for from my Wife. Would she though? Forgiveness is another matter, would she trust me the same? Would she be able to love me the same?
I entered the kitchen to grab some water since it was the only thing edible now, I couldn’t even
swallow any food because I threw up right after recalling the ominous moment I decided to justify
cheating on my love.
I glanced at the dish covered with a lid and teared up at the sight. My mother had fixed me some light food. I forced it down my throat with big sips of water, still standing and shoving the food inside one bite after the other.
